Who are the people in your neighborhood?

One of the restaurant owners in my neighborhood was killed Tuesday in a senseless act of violence.

There is a little sushi place in my neighborhood, Aburiya. It is owned by a young Korean couple who live south of the city. During the pandemic, I would order my salmon bento box to go. It is delicious. In addition to the sushi, it came with miso soup, salad, shrimp shumai, tofu, and the little green seaweed salad. As covid restrictions eased, I continued to order my salmon bento box. The woman who owned the place met people at the door and worked a a waitress. I never knew her name, but she knew mine. She knew me as "Lauren with the salmon bento box."

Wednesday, I called there to order my usual salmon bento box, and no one answered the phone. I was too cheap to pay the $4 up charge from the Uber Eats and the like, so I decided that I would eat at the restaurant for a change. When I walked by, a sign in the window said, "Closed until further notice." I had thought they had gone out of business, which was sad enough.

This is the thing about living in a big city -- you get to know many of the people within a one block radius of where you live. I know Bryce the guy who owns Cedar and Spoke coffee. I know Jae vegetable guy at the market. I got to the know shopkeeper at the craft store, Ugly Baby, in the market when I was recovering from my surgery. I know a handful of the dog owners who trot out their pets at the same time I walk Fox. I recognize a handful of others from other places, even if I don't know their names.

The sushi woman died this week. She was 34 years old and 34 weeks pregnant. The shooter had an automatic weapon, and I am going to take a wild guess that the dude was strung out on drugs. He was immediately apprehended. I am assuming this was random as this woman was sweet and kind and beautiful, always smiling. Her husband's arm was shot up, and he is out of the hospital.

Who are the people in your neighborhood? Downtown is such a mixed bag. We have residents and workers, tourists and tramps. What is an urban core? It is where people live densely, and you need a certain mindset to embrace that. We know people and we don't know people. Because we are dense, the human flotsam can blend in a little more than they would in a less dense area. I love the word flotsam -- it means the wrecakge of a broken ship. These broken people turn to drugs and violence to cope with god-only-knows-what horrors they might have seen in their lives.

As much as I pray for Eina Kwon and her devastated family, I also pray for her shooter and those who live on the street. May they find peace in their hearts instead of resorting to violence.

Blocking v Joy

I am taking an improv class, and my therapist thinks this is great. He studied improv and recommends his trainee therapists study it, as well. 

In improv, you are present. You can't be in the past or the future. There is just now. You connect with your team, listen to them, and respond. You respect the pause, the quiet. You give space for laughter.

One thing you don't want to do is block and shoot someone down. It kills the energy between two people, and dead energy is bad.

Let's say one person pretends to open an umbrella and says, "It is raining." The other person could says a million things, like, "That is strange because we are inside," or "I've never seen it rain gumdrops before" or "The is the first time I've seen rain in Hell." The scene can move forward.

Now let's say the second person blocks and says, "No, it isn't." 

The scene is dead. The first person is stuck. They have nothing to respond to.

I've been thinking about blocking in the real world, and how often people do it without even realizing it. Adults do it continuously to children. I am not talking about "Don't put your finger in the socket" kind of blocking, but "That's a dumb idea" or "That's not the right way to draw an apple" or teachers who make the students guess what they are thinking and they get prize if they guess correctly. That is blocking the creativity of the child, and it builds distrust in the relationship. Who made that teacher or parent god?

Most of this blocking probably comes from a place of fear, but it is so damaging to relationships with others. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who always is stomping on your ideas, your dreams, your efforts? When our ideas and dreams are stomped on, that kills relationships. I know some parents who think it is their job to stomp on their kids' ideas. Oy.

The person I block the most is myself. I was listening to David Sedaris recently talk about writing. He said a good writer will say yes to new experiences. (He added the caveat using common sense, like about not going home with a stranger when you are drunk in a bar.) Sometimes I need to get out of my own way.

Tourists and Me

I live north of Pike Place Market in downtown Seattle. As such, there are many, many tourists coming and going. Last night, my friend Alice came over for dinner before we went to the ballet. She brought vegetables and I went to the Market to get salmon. Whenever she comes over, I wince at going to the Market on a Saturday afternoon. Yesterday, I went around 2:00, peak tourist time. If I go around 4:30, the market is slowing down but some vendors are starting to close up for the day and then I have to rush.

I talked about the crowds at the Market with Alice and she said the place was "people-y," a new word to me which means a place has too many people. When I went the fishmonger, tourists were "clumping" in front of the displays, blocking the path for me to get Copper River sockeye.

There is another side to tourism in my neighborhood whichI encountered this morning. I went to church a few blocks from my condo, and there I met a woman from Galway, Ireland at the coffee after mass. She told of some good places to hit next time I'm in Dublin, and I told her to visit the Olympic Sculpture Park and the Amazon Spheres.

A few weeks ago, I was at a restaurant/bar called the Nest with sweeping views of Seattle. There I sat next to two women from Australia. At Le Pichet, I met a couple from New York. The woman was of Irish nationality and her boyfriend was Indian. At the Pink Door, I met a woman from Palo Alto.

Alice was talking about how much she likes to absorb the culture when she travels, and how she likes to meet the locals. 

In Seattle, I am the local. I am the person tourists meet.