18 and Waterfalls

The New York Times last week had a special section called This is 18 that looked at the lives of eighteen year old girls around the world.

The most heartbreaking one for me was Madison Breanne Justice, an eighteen year old girl from Clarksdale, Mississippi, who is caring for her son, Jeremiah. She hopes to get her GED and then go to college.

They asked her: What is the farthest place you have ever been from home?

"The farthest I've ever been away from my house is three hours away, in Dyersburg, like right there on the edge of Missouri. I really wish I had been farther because I love to see new things. I would love to see a waterfall in my life."

A waterfall.

My heart was broken when I read that. How simple and beautiful, to want to see a waterfall.

I thought of all of the waterfalls my kids have seen since we've moved to the west coast. We have a small waterfall in Ravenna Park where the water drops a foot.

I did a search in my photo album, and I found 178 photographs of waterfalls. Some of them are major waterfalls--Snoqualmie Falls, WA; Multnomah Falls, OR; and Waimoku Falls, HI--others are regular ones we came across on hikes through the Pacific Northwest or on vacation.

I can't remember the first time I saw a waterfall. As a kid, we went camping a lot, but we were in the midwest were it was flat. You need mountains or at least hills to get some kind of a waterfall going. Maybe I didn't see one until I was an adult, but I find that hard to believe. Are they that common place in my life that I can't remember the first time I saw one?

If Madison could pick a waterfall to see, which one would she chose? Would she want to something massive like Niagra Falls, or something more modest and quiet, like Twin Falls? The Grotto Falls in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee is beautiful, and probably close to home. Would she be amazed or disappointed? I can't say I've ever looked at a waterfall and thought meh. Everytime I see one I think they are cool. What is it about this geological feature that makes it so interesting, so peaceful, so relaxing? It is different for each person?

I hope Madison gets to see for herself one day.

Snoqualmie Falls, Washington

Multnomah Falls, Oregon

Waimoku Falls, Hawaii

Doubtful Sound, New Zealand

20

Adele names her albums after her age: 19, 21, 25.

Ada would have been 20 years old yesterday. If she were alive, I'd almost be done being her active parent.

Yeah. It is hard to believe. Two decades have passed. What would she have done this year for her birthday if she had been alive? Maybe she would have been a dancer. Or maybe pre-med. Or maybe she'd want to be an astronaut. Or banker. Maybe she would have been a an artist or a computer programmer. Maybe she would have been a great friend.

It was a gray day, but I think I held it together rather well. Anniversaries that end a zero (or five) are usually hard. I didn't actively think about Ada or her death for a majority of the day, but thoughts of her colored the day with a mist or a fog. I didn't think as clearly. It is like there is a sad soundtrack running along side my day that I can't hear but it slips into my subconscious. I wasn't as cheerful or chipper as a usually am, but nor was I crabby or irritable like I have been on other anniversaries. By crabby and irritable, I mean sickened with grief to be point I shouldn't be in the company of other humans. The nadir was the not the first anniversary of Ada's death, but the first Mother's Day. That was awful. There needs to be something on Mother's Day for women who lost a child. Seriously. I am a mother now, and I look back at my old self and feel sorry for her.

My dad sent me flowers this weekend, which always cheer me up.

He remembers every single year.