Mamas Don't Sleep While their Babies are Sick

Moms don't sleep while their babies are sick.

They don't shower, they forget to eat, they don't call their moms on her birthday.

Most of all, moms don't sleep. Or if they do sleep, it is a crappy, miserable sleep where they are up every time there is a peep. They can't sleep until their kid comes out on the other side, when it is clear and apparent that their kid will be fine.

I doesn't matter the illness. The first flu or cold, cancer, or mental health crisis. Their primary focus is on the kid getting better. Some moms might continue to work because they need health insurance. (Some moms are horrible and abandon their ailing children at the hospital, but that is not most moms.)

I was in a writing class about feminine archetypes where we studied women represented in mythology. Demeter was Persephone's mother, Diana was the Hunter. "Virgins" like Diana had focused attention and were goal oriented. Mothers--like Demeter--were known for having diffuse attention where they would pay attention to lots of little things at the same time. Think cooking dinner while the laundry is in the washing machine and the kids are playing in the backyard. A guy once compared a woman's mind to a computer with lots of apps open at the same time. The cooking app may be running in the foreground, but the kids outside and the laundry are running in the background.

When mother's child is sick or suffering, that laser like focus of the virgin goddesses comes back into play. That sick child is in the foreground, and everything else is in the back. The sick child is a memory hog, using up a lot of RAM.

The Boy has turned a corner where he is seriously thinking about his future, looking ahead. Last Monday, the Boy was talking about his SAT scores, where he wanted to go to college, and what he wants to study.

"I thinking of math," said the Boy. "Something like Mathematical Methods in the Social Sciences." I nearly leapt with joy for so many reasons. First, MMSS was my own major. We have to acknowledge that. Math is an awesome major in college because it is not like you are going to pick it up on the job or learn it on the fly. I suppose people can learn math online through Khan Academy, but that is a tool for people who want to study math more.

It is super cool that he is considering math, but most important is that he is considering anything. Before, he didn't see a future for himself, which made him more depressed. Now, he is looking forward, which is good.

I am happy for him.

And now I can sleep. I can restore. I can find myself and again and get back to everything else I left running in the background, unattended.