Grandpa and the Boy

My mom's Alzhiemer's is accelerating. She was having such a hard time remembering how to walk that she is now wheelchair bound. She is having a hard time eating, as well. She has a few mini-strokes last month, which doesn't help. I fear her rapid deterioration means she might not have much longer to live. I always have heard the downside of Alzheimer's is that people outlive their bodies long after their brains die. Now, her body is starting to fail. I am starting to think she might die within the next two years, likely sooner.

My mom is in a long-term care facility, and my dad said he feels like he is living like a single person even though he is still married. When he comes home at night, he has no one to talk to. I can see the loneliness in my father, I don't think he will be one to manage well without companionship.

The Boy turned thirteen this week, and both my father and physical therapist said boys at that age start thinking about girls. (Jack moved a lot at that age, and is kind of hazy on his early teens.) I can see the Boy starting to date in the next few years as he enters high school.

This afternoon, I had this really crazy thought--there will probably be a time in the next few years when my father and son are both in the dating scene. I am not sure how I will take all of that. I don't want to see my father suffer in loneliness, but to have to watch my son and father start dating at the same time would be a little odd. I figured that my son might be dating in the next few years, but I hadn't thought about my dad. My dad and the Boy talk on the phone about quad-copters and legos and rockets, which is cool. Would they talk about dating? Here I would be, sandwiched between my son and father. I guess that is why they call it middle age.

I got this idea about my dad dating when I was a reading The New Yorker article about the movie The Meddler starring Susan Sarandon. I haven't seen the movie yet, just the trailer. Hollywood is catering to aging Baby Boomers and having movies with plots about their lives. Susan Sarandon is a widow who is lost without her husband. After driving her daughter, Laurie,* a little bit nuts (the title is The Meddler), she ends up dating J.K. Simmons who looks uncannily like my dad. When I saw the trailer, I thought Oh my god! My dad is dating Susan Sarandon! I knew it wasn't possible because my dad is a Republican and Sarandon is supporting Bernie Sanders. Also, my dad drives a BMW motorcycle, and Simmon's character drives a Harley.

If they are making movies about widows and widowers dating, I suppose it is because it is a real phenomena. I will have to be ready for it when it happens.


* My family called me "Laurie" growing up. My mom thought "Lauren" was too big of a name for a little girl.