Retail Therapy and Slowly

My dad said he has resorted to buying stuff when he was getting down about my mother's Alzheimer's. He read in a book that caregivers should get out of the house and do something for themselves, even if it is small. He attended to my mother twenty-four hours a day, but occasionally he'd sneak out to the hobby shop and get a remote controlled airplane. I think he has acquired dozens of planes and drones and helicopters in the past few years.

While I am not taking care of my mom (I live 2,000 miles away) and I am in no way caring the burden my father is carrying, I do have a little bit of guilt that I can't do more to help him. In honor of my father, I made my own stress purchase today. Thanks to the Boy, I am a Lego fan. Like him, I look for sets with interesting pieces and parts. Birds, eggs, and an "Anger Management Class" sticker? A pig with a tattoo riding a Hog? I'm in.

I like game, but I have no desire to see this movie. Thank goodness my kids are at the age where we can see movies with real actors instead of only cartoons.

I also bought a bottle topper that seals the bubbles in leftover sparkling wine. I also bought a bottle of sparkling wine, not for celebratory purposes. QFC had sparkling wine on the endcaps and I thought it looked good.

I am also doing a lap dog therapy. Fox is happy to serve.

My dad does not have a direct communication style. He told me my mom is refusing to eat, but I had to look stuff up on the internet last night to determine she might be near the end of her life. I know he doesn't want to worry me, but still. Last night, I read on NIH's National Institute on Aging's website that not eating is possible imminent sign of death for people with dementia. It is possible my mom is dying, and giving her a feeding tube is out of the question. The NIH and my mom's living will are both against feeding tubes for people dying of Alzheimer's.

My mom could die in the next week or two. Or, she could live for another six months or two years. We don't know.  My dad said people who are in hopsice do better than people who aren't in hospice. I thought he was being optimista until my physical therapist told me that hospice patients have a longer three month life expectancy than similar patients who aren't in hospice. I guess my dad heard correctly.

It is hard to decide what kind of mode to be in: the panic, move fast mode, or the quiet, calm, take things as they come mode. Last night, everything started to move in slow motion for me as I figured out this could be the end. I knew Alzheimer's was fatal, but I also knew it is a long, drawn out way to die. I was more worried about her living in a catatonic state for years than her dying soon. I guess I am going to take this slowly.