The Knack: The Boy and His Porsche; Me and My Bike

The Boy loves Legos, or used to love them. His Lego room was out of commission recently because Anita and I were painting the upstairs of the house. I have been trying to ween him from excessive computer and smart phone use. In the past, I've gotten him a large Lego set each summer to keep him busy. One summer, I got him an NXT, a Lego robotics kit. I thought maybe if I got him a new Lego set this summer, he would find something new to do besides play Flappy Birds or The Binding of Isaac, the theme of which is a voice tells Isaac's mother to rid Isaac of evil and lock him in the basement before she sacrifices him. The player is Isaac, and he needs to escape. It is loosely based on the Bible story of Isaac. Loads of happiness there. No wonder the Boy would become depressed and angry after playing too many games.

To solve this problem that cost us $400 for the phone and another $40 a month, we bought the Boy a Lego Porsche. It is expensive. Trust me. It has 2,704 parts and it weighs about 15 pounds. Lego had to redesign the box because the set was so heavy the box was getting damaged when it was shipped to homes. We had to get one at the Lego store because they have a different shipping packaging from the consumer shipping. Anyhow, I am out more than $700 to create and then fix this problem. But I am a huge Lego fan, so I wasn't too depressed about it.

"Do you know why we got you this Lego set?" I asked the Boy on the car ride home.

"So I don't play with my phone as much," he said. At least he got the point without me having a spell it out for him.

The Boy got home and opened the box. He was ecstatic. "This is exhilarating! I am getting 'The Knack' back!" "The Knack" is a line from the movie Hunt of the Wilderpeople which we saw last week.

"Ikea says 'Some assembly required.' Lego is 'All assembly required,'" said the Boy as he was building a set that came with 500 black rivets. I figured he had 500 black rivets at home already, and maybe he could have a gotten a discount for using his own rivets.

"I don't hate the phone," I lied to the Boy. I actually loathe the smart phone. "But limiting your time on the phone gives you time to do what you love."

"$300 is a bargain for getting the Knack back," said Jack. "Too bad it cost $400 to lose it in the first place."


Yesterday, while Boy was at "Magic the Gathering"* tournament at a local game shop, I was getting my Knack back. Jack and I biked to Ballard for lunch again. We didn't realize that most of industrial Ballard is closed for lunch on Saturdays, and that is the only time it is every closed for lunch. We did find a place to eat called Gerald's. I saw their fried chicken and waffle sandwich through the window, and it looked great. When I got inside, the woman next to me was eating a breakfast poutine. While fried chicken and waffles** is a southern and Pennsylvanian thing, poutine is Canadian. Poutine is some kind of gravy and cheese served over a bed of french fries.

**** This next section is for women over 40.  You have been warned. ****

I ask the waitress what I should get -- the waffles and chicken or the poutine. Both looked and smelled delicious. The gravy was made from breakfast sausage and cheddar cheese, and the whole thing was topped with a scrambled egg. It was delicious, except there should have been a warning. I don't need to know the calories, fat content or salt levels. I stop eating when I am full. What I wish they did have was a fiber or constipation warning level on restaurant menus, something like this:

     -- Breakfast Poutine: 🚫💩
     -- Mac and Cheese with Pulled Pork: 🚫💩
     -- Caesar Salad: 🌾👍🏼💩💩
     -- Kale and Quinoa: 🌾👍🏼💩💩💩💩

**** You may now continue reading if you are not a woman over 40. ****

Jack and I rode home, me in fear of never moving my bowels again after eating that poutine. We rode about 14 miles, which was good. I rode faster than the week before, but not so fast. Jack rides a bike with Campagnolo gears. Campagnolo is like the Harley-Davidson of the bicycling world--their parts have a very distinctive sound. Campagnolo gears only makes its special noise when it is coasting, and I heard a lot of this noise yesterday while we were riding. I'd be pedaling my butt off, and Jack would be coasting.

Last night, my knee woke me up a few times with stiffness. I had a hard time rolling over without needing to stretch it out. I don't think I've had a hard time sleeping with my knee since a few weeks after the surgery. But nevertheless, I did sleep. And I am getting my Knack back.



* For those of you who haven't had a thirteen year old son in the past few years, Magic the Gathering is a card trading game.

** I just have to share this fun Cliff Claven "It's a little known fact..." story. Nate's Wings and Waffles is a great restaurant in SE Seattle. We eat there after the Boy has soccer games in the Rainier Beach neighborhood. Nate's Wings and Waffles is owned by former Garfield High School and NBA star Nate Robinson. The Boy has to run sprints for soccer, and he has been timing himself. Since he has been running alone, he doesn't know if his times are fast or slow. We googled 100 meter sprint times for boys his age for comparison. The Washington State Middle School track record for the 100 meter dash is held by Nate Robinson!