Today was probably the first day I was glad I had ACL surgery. There are times when I wonder if this was worth all of the effort. Last night, my daughter had a cultural event with exchange students from South Africa at her school and everyone was expected to dance. We did a rendition of the "How Funky is Your Chicken" with a call and response. There were several verses I never learned as a kid, and in some we were expected to squat to the ground. In another dance, we had to twist and shake. I wasn't awesome, but I could do it without needing a cane, crutch or walker. Mission Accomplished.
Today, I went to the YMCA and there were no spaces in the parking lot. I had to park several blocks away and walk, which I could do just fine. It turns out there was an event at the YMCA; hence, the lack of parking. This wasn't too big of a deal as I could walk just fine.
Famous Last Words.
For the past nine months, I've been looking at the ground when I walk to make sure I don't trip or fall. As I was walking to the Y from my parked car, I saw an empty parking spot on my left and I turned my head to study it: was it there before I drove by and I missed it? Would my car have fit? As I was pondering, I hit a patch of uneven concrete in the sidewalk. There were leaves on the ground and it was a little slippery from the rain this morning, and I tripped. I fell and my right hand scraped the ground and two of my knuckles bled, but the rest of me was fine. I didn't hit the ground like I thought I might. For the most part, I was able to stay upright. I think the only reason my right hand hit the ground was because my purse was filled with two books and a water bottle, and the weight of the bag shifted and caused my arm to fall. My ankle was tweaked, but it was fine by time I walked the extra half block to the YMCA.
That's what did happen. Let's talk about what didn't: My knee didn't slip. I didn't crash to the ground, land on my hands and knees, and break my wrist. I can't prove this hypothesis because I can't take out my ACL and go back and trip over the sidewalk in that same spot to see what would have happened. My knee held. It didn't buckle. In fact, I noticed how stable it was. Maybe my strong hamstrings and quads were holding me up. Maybe I have good balance that kept me upright. Before the surgery, I felt my knee slip when I was walking upstairs. Before the surgery, I never would have tried the chicken dance.
I think back to when Dr. Tex and Dr. Backer were discussing surgical options with me. They didn't care either way if I had the surgery or not. The question was did I want to ski or play tennis. While I am not eager to hop back on the ski slopes, I am not ready to say "No, never."
Today I realized life doesn't move in straight lines. Sometimes we zig, sometimes we zag. I want to be ready for whatever comes my way.
After I rode the stationary bike and lifted weights, I found the BOSU disc and stood on top of it while I bent my legs. I wobbled back and forth, but not as bad as I did the first two times I tried standing on the disk. I imagined this is what it would be like to ski--bend down on a wobbly uneven surface where I'd have to hold my balance as the ground underneath me squished and squashed. Maybe, just maybe, I could see myself skiing again. I survived a tumble on the sidewalk, and I was fine. Maybe I am getting strong enough to ski.
This blog is about the little and big thoughts that pop into my head. I once read that when Flannery O'Connor walked into a bookstore, she would want to edit her published works with a red pen. In the digital world, we have the luxury of tweaking things up after we've hit the publish button. I can be a perfectionist/procrastinator, where waiting for the ideal means little gets done. Here I will share what is not--and likely will never be--perfect.
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