What was I thinking by letting her go to Whistler this weekend? Jack had planned this trip early last week. This was not something that had been on our calendar for weeks or months, as our Spring Break trip to New York, Philadelphia, and Washington, D.C. If it had been, perhaps I would have looked at the calendar more closely then kiboshed it.
When I ran for School Board, high stakes tests were a major topic, but tests like the SAT and the AP exams are out of bounds for local jurisdictions. One school board can't ban these tests because practically every college looks at them for incoming freshman. I was in favor of moderate testing of students to help close the opportunity gap. Years ago, I was at a fundraiser for educational causes. The sponsoring organization gave the principal of Garfield High School an award for his work. They showed a video of the principal walking around the school, talking about his accomplishments. One of the highlights was a program that taught sophomores to read. I was appalled, not at the program, but at the idea that these kids could so easily have slipped through the cracks by making it to tenth grade unable read. If we need tests for elementary students to make sure they can read so a district can provide the right services to kids to get them up to speed, then I am for it.
Should I have kept my daughter home so she could cram for these tests? She knows how to read and is reasonably accomplished academically. She is a diligent student and has been studying hard in all of her classes. If anything, Jack and I think at times she studies too much. When I asked her last week if she wanted to go on the trip, she didn't vex. She said yes immediately. The Boy said Claire Adele had a major case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Maybe she did.
Did we do the right thing by letting her take a break? When the Boy was in second grade, he qualified for the district's gifted program. A parent asked me what we did to prepare him for the test. I was a little naive about the question and said "I took him to the Varsity for breakfast before the test. He had pancakes and bacon." Taking it easy before the exam served the Boy well.
While I firmly believe in the power of cramming for tests, maybe bringing my daughter along for a ski weekend might have been a good idea. Maybe she needed space to relax after working so hard this year. In twenty years, she'll remember this weekend, not how well she did on the AP exams, unless she bombs the tests so badly she doesn't get into any of her dream colleges. I don't want her life filled with regret. Or, maybe she'll realize she can have a happy, productive life without getting into a competitive college. Jack and I rode the ski lift this weekend with a guy who was about my age who is a helicopter ski guide in the winter and an EMT in the summer. He seemed happy with his lifestyle.
"I see all of my friends who have been working hard at jobs for twenty years," the helicopter ski guide said. "What does it get them?"
Maybe I am being selfish. If we don't take family trips like these now, we may never have the chance again. In sixteen months, Claire Adele will be off at college. There are less than seventy more weekends before she leaves, and many of those are already booked with camp, sports and other events.
In the end, it isn't my life--it's Claire Adele's. She often puts school work before friends and activities. Maybe a trip to Canada was the only way to make her not spend the entire weekend cramming. For the rest of her life, she will have choices to make between work and play. I hope for her own sake, she chooses wisely.
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