Budget versus "Fend for Yourself"

This summer, we got the kids debit cards so they could buy lunch during the school day. This is different from buying a school lunch, as the kids usually grab a bite at Whole Foods, Starbucks, or a local burger joint within blocks of RHS. For the previous three years, Claire Adele would pack a lunch or scrap together a few bucks for a bagel at Whole Foods. Now that I am working--or so I tell myself--I don't have as much time to shop for food. Since there is generally less food in the house, I don't want the kids to starve during the day because I didn't feel like running to QFC the night before.

Last night, Jack and I went to dinner with some of his colleagues, and the kids were left to fend for themselves for dinner. The Boy went to Kidd Valley and got a burger. I am not sure what Claire-Adele did, but I am sure she ate.

After dinner, I checked the kids' bank accounts. I usually keep no more than $50 in each account. Both kids had less than $10, so I transfer money so they could buy lunch the next day. I noticed Claire-Adele made an online purchase.

"She bought a Camp Orkila shirt," the Boy said. He was aware that she made an online purchase. Last week, the Boy bought a new and much-needed sweatshirt with our permission.

"The kids need to learn to budget," Jack said. "We can't just keep handing them money." He paused, "But they do need to eat lunch and dinner."

I was thinking about this. I'd love for my kids to learn to budget, but right now I need them to learn to fend for themselves because I don't have time to take care of all of the little crap that I used to take care of, like making dinner on a regular basis. I am glad Claire-Adele bought her own t-shirt and I wasn't involved.

While I am not expecting masterful budgeting from the kids, I do expect them to be responsible. The minute I see upgrade charges for games for their phone on the debit card is the minute the card is canceled. But food and clothes? I am fine with funding them to fend for themselves.