Dogs, Romaine, and "Get it? Get it?" -- A Blog Post in Three and a Half Parts

After I came home from work, I was thinking about yesterday's post with the robot dolls used with dementia patients. The robots cost about $18,000 each. Why can't these nursing homes get dogs instead of robots? Dogs are way cheaper and have a real heartbeat. Fox was $250 from the Humane Society and he costs about $35 a month to feed. Sure it would cost money to have a human take care of the dogs at night and whatnot, but someone could have a business where they train and provide supports dogs for nursing homes.

Jack and I went to dinner tonight while the Boy was at soccer practice. When I ordered a Buffalo chicken, avocado, bacon and blue cheese salad for dinner, the waitress told me they didn't have romaine lettuce. Instead, it would be served with a spring mix. I said that was fine.

"The lettuce is almost a side to the dish. We added just enough to call it a salad," she said.

True that.

I've turned into one of those people who takes pictures of my dinner at a restaurant so I can post it online. 

They didn't have romaine lettuce it because it has been pulled from everywhere in the United States because forty-three people became ill from E. coli. According to the CDC, E. coli causes intense stomach cramps, bloody diarrhea, fever and vomitting. No one has died from this round of E. coli, but one person has kidney failure.
(<--Picture of reaction from E. coli courtesy of the CDC.)

So bad lettuce is pulled from everywhere in the U.S. because of bloody diarrhea--which has got to be really gross and uncomfortable. But what about guns? Forty-nine people died and fifty-three people were wounded in Orlando when a shooter came into a night club and opened fire. How come the day the E. coli break out occurred, people didn't rush to the grocery store to buy more romaine and stock up on caesar dressing and croutons?

After dinner, Jack and I picked up the Boy from soccer. He and his posse of other fifteen year old boys were hanging out by the parking lot, all full of swagger after practice. While we were driving to get the Boy dinner, the Boy was cracking up looking at his phone and shared a meme. 

"You can tell the Apple 6 Plus was designed by men because is only five and a half inches," said the Boy while snorting.

I was trying to navigate a left turn into U Village. What is up with that dude in front of me? Can't he see the green arrow is on? Wait a second, I thought. Did my son just tell a dick joke while I'm driving? I think so, but really? Huh. Maybe I'm wrong... Why isn't this truck turning? What a jerk. He must be high. Stupid legal weed laws.

I sat quietly perplexed while simultaneously trying to make a left turn into U Village while Jack tried to change the conversation. He told us one of his esteemed colleagues, a world famous physician in his field, announced at a meeting that he didn't know what a meme was.

"Wait," the Boy said. "Didn't you get it? It was a dick joke."

"Yeah," said Jack. "We got it."

"But you didn't laugh," said the Boy.

"We weren't sure how to respond," said Jack.

"I'm glad you got it," said the Boy. "You are adults. I shouldn't have to explain it to you."

Oh. My. God. Can I fast forward twenty plus years to when the Boy has a five year old daughter? Thank you. Mental note: Make a point to hang out with some women friends this weekend. Perhaps I can compare notes with my friend who had sixteen year old twin boys. Oy. I wonder if her house and car are also locker rooms.

-- Side bar: Which reminds me... The Northwestern Wildcats are playing the Ohio State Buckeyes in the Big Ten Championship this weekend. They winner of this game will play the winner of the University of Washington v. Utah in the Rose Bowl which is kind of cool. I've lived in three of those cities, but of course I am most hoping for an NU v UW Rose Bowl with an NU win. Woohoo! Go Cats! If NU makes the Rose Bowl, I will have to go to Pasedena. I digress.

And finally, the Boy and I were waiting at Din Tai Fung to get his dinner. A television in the bar had a soccer game on Univision, the Spanish speaking American television station. A commericial came on in Spanish recruiting people to the U.S. Army. 

Seriously. 

What is up with our government? Let's separate immigrant kids from their families but hey, the rest of you immigrants--feel free to serve in our military! We'd love to have you!

In case you have been couting, this blog post has more then three and a half parts, which is like a woman joke because when we tell stories, we lowball our weight, age and how much we actually paid for those really awesome shoes.