I am sobbing and I can't pinpoint the reason. I can think of ten reasons why I am crying, not just one.
This is the first major holiday (outside of picnic holidays like Labor Day) with both kids gone. Last New Year's Eve, Jack worked and I was with the kids. The Boy went out with friends and Claire-Adele was with her old boyfriend still. My neighbors invited me to their backyard bonfire, which was fun.
New Year's Eve invites us to look backwards into the last year and forward into the next. So much has happened in this year. So much. The Boy didn't go to school for the first five months and just laid in bed. We shipped him off to Wilderness therapy, and then boarding school. Jack and I were separated during this exceptionally challenging chapter of parenting. I feel like the Sadness character in Inside Out. I just need to let it out and feel bad so I can feel better. I called my dad and texted my friend Melissa on the east coast.
See? It is working. I feel better already.
This blog is about the little and big thoughts that pop into my head. I once read that when Flannery O'Connor walked into a bookstore, she would want to edit her published works with a red pen. In the digital world, we have the luxury of tweaking things up after we've hit the publish button. I can be a perfectionist/procrastinator, where waiting for the ideal means little gets done. Here I will share what is not--and likely will never be--perfect.
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