This is not because I feel like May 2020 is awesome. Hardly. If I had to pick a year with the best May, I'd say 1998. That was the year I was pregnant with Ada and everything was right with the world. I was a golden girl, where nothing epically bad had ever happened in my life.
May 2019 was the month before the Boy left for Wilderness. I moved into the condo. Jack and I were at a point where we couldn't have a conversation for two hours that didn't end up with us screaming at each other.
I was lost.
This spring, even with the horrors of COVID and staying home, is so much better. I am so much more emotionally healthy, sane and stable. I was taking it all one day at a time, trying to keep serene.
And then.
My dad called to tell me my mom's nursing home has two cases of corona. One of my mom's caretakers who has been with her for years--has tested positive for corona.
My dad hasn't seen my mom in eleven weeks. We don't know what is going to happen. My mom has been in this nursing home since 2016 with Alzheimer's. She has almost no cognitive function left. She can smile and look at things, but that is about it. She has a DNR--do not resuscitate--order. She has a living will that says she does not want to be on a ventilator.
I see three possible outcomes:
We don't know. Now we are just waiting. Whatever happens is not in my hands. I can just hope that my mom doesn't suffer regardless of what happens. I hope my mom's caretaker--a kind woman who has loved my mother during her last years--doesn't become to ill, either.
I feel bad for my dad during this time. He can't see my mom and if she does get sick, he won't be able to see her.
And then.
My dad called to tell me my mom's nursing home has two cases of corona. One of my mom's caretakers who has been with her for years--has tested positive for corona.
My dad hasn't seen my mom in eleven weeks. We don't know what is going to happen. My mom has been in this nursing home since 2016 with Alzheimer's. She has almost no cognitive function left. She can smile and look at things, but that is about it. She has a DNR--do not resuscitate--order. She has a living will that says she does not want to be on a ventilator.
I see three possible outcomes:
- Maybe she won't get corona
- Maybe she will get corona and live
- Maybe she will get corona and die
We don't know. Now we are just waiting. Whatever happens is not in my hands. I can just hope that my mom doesn't suffer regardless of what happens. I hope my mom's caretaker--a kind woman who has loved my mother during her last years--doesn't become to ill, either.
I feel bad for my dad during this time. He can't see my mom and if she does get sick, he won't be able to see her.
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