3 A's v 7 A's, and Range

I've been in a lot of therapy and recovery in the past year and a half. A lot. One of the most useful things I've read was about the three A's when facing a problem or crisis:

1. Awareness/Acknowledgement
2. Acceptance
3. Action

When the Boy was sent away to Wilderness and then boarding school, I had to dive deep into these three. I have been swimming along nicely, not needing to confront anything major until I was told by my manager to look for a new job.

Oy.

I knew I needed to look for a new job months ago, so I started baby-steps, like telling a few friends, updating my resume, searching for jobs online. Then, I would get upset at work about my new role and my manager would talk me off the ledge and I'd feel better.

For a while.

Then I'd get upset about the changes in my job again. Then my manager would tell me "this is how it is now..." I'd get some level of understanding, but then I'd get upset a few week later. 

One of the things I hadn't realized about my job as a tech analyst is that the role is very clearly defined and limited. In my previous analyst roles in consulting, the roles were expansive. We were expected to grow, be creative and take on more leadership. In tech, the analyst's role is "Load this data."  I was missing that point until one of my co-workers explained it to me. 

I digress.

Anyhow, I realized I've been living with a few other A's in addition to the other three which are far less productive:

1. Anxiety
2. Avoidance
3. Anger
4. Annoyance

Which then lead to me becoming

• Irritable
• Complaining
• Explaining
• Unreasonable

Anxiety: I am afraid to look for another job. I was talking to three friends recently about looking for a new job. All three were very unhelpful, until I realized that they were all specialists who have been in the exact same job for more than fifteen years. Jack--the workaholic Jack--told me "It is just a job." Wow. That sucked. He later apologized for his insensitivity, and explained that as a workaholic, he had to adopt this mentality.

Avoidance: When I first realized I needed a new job, I started updating my resume and whatnot. Then I got tired and frustrated because the first job did not magically appear before my eyes. 

Anger: "Oh my god! It is not my fault my job changed! I was in the sweet spot when x, y and z happened that screwed it up!" Yeah. All true, but knowing how and why it happened doesn't change that it happened.

Annoyance: "Man, now I need to look for another job or create a new one where I work. This sucks. I wish I didn't have to do this." I had dear friend, a specialist in the same job for more than fifteen years, who while we were on the phone she searched open jobs at her company and emailed me one. "Here you go. You can have this job. Problem solved." As if job postings online are like a menu at a restaurant or a shopping cart on Amazon. I can't just pick one and automatically get it. I applied for one job where another dear friend said "You'd be perfect for that strategy analyst role!" Yes, I would be. But tell that to the HR screener or the robot who is looking for algorithms.

Which brings me back to Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World by David Epstein, one of my favorite books because it so well describes me. According to Jack, Bill Gates made it one of his book recommendations for this year, so it is sold out on Amazon. It is hard to be a generalist in a world of specialist, especially when I am getting career advice from them and almost everyone I work with is a specialist.