Pilates Video Model

I would make a magnificent Pilates video model. Wonderful. Superb. 

I kind of suck at Pilates and my instructor is regularly correcting my form. I'm curvy, not a stick figure like all of the women in my Pilates book. I am built like Barbie doll that someone squashed down from 6'10'' to 5'4'', keeping the boobs and the booty the same. I say fuck a lot when a move is challenging. I grit my face and look like I am passing a kidney stone at 90 of the 100.

These are all reasons why I would make a unique and special Pilates video model. 

I can hear what you are thinking, "Wouldn't we want someone who looks good and knows what they are doing?"

No. You do not.

I tried doing the New York City Ballet workouts on YouTube once. I didn't even get through five minutes because the people were way fitter than me and I couldn't keep up. I honestly don't think anyone could keep up outside of people younger than 23 and professional athletes. Think about it: the people demonstrating the moves are the most fit, coordinated, and graceful people on the world. The people watching at home are not.

I would be like the people at home--moderately coordinated, curvy, soft, and realistic. These exercises are hard to do, both in form and intensity. People could watch how to do it wrong first, and then see how to adjust to do it correctly. They would see me sweat and swear. I roll my eyes at my teacher.

Plus it would be funny. People could watch me exercise while sitting on their couch eating a bag of potato chips. I might inspire these couch potatoes to try to exercise. They could think, "If that chick could do it, so can I."