Grounding, and Diffuse versus Focused Attention

(Warning: Here come the post-Improv festival spam posts. In my defense, it was a rich weekend. So much of what I learned applies to all of life, not just to stepping on the stage to "make shit up.")

I had a Stage Combat class this weekend with Jeff Alm this weekend. I can't believe I am typing this. I took at Stage Combat class this weekend. When I was in the class, I was thinking "This is so cool. I can't believe I am doing this." 

What is Stage Combat? It is staging violence on the stage in a safe way. It is most like partnered dance (think tango, salsa, or waltz) and choreography than fighting. We learned how to stage a punch and we practiced sword fighting.

Before we grabbed the epees, we had to do some mental prep work. We learned techniques for grounding ourselves and how to focus our attention. In a fight scene, we need to be both focused and grounded so no one gets hurt.

We did an experiment with grounding. We first focused our attention on the top of our head. Our combat partner gave us a gentle nudge on the shoulder. Most people swayed. We then focused on attention on our core. Again, out combat partner gave us a gentle nudge on the shoulder. Most people were solid and didn't sway. It was fascinating. I am going to have to use this at work before going into a stressful meeting.

The second thing we worked on was focused versus diffuse attention. I remember learning about focused and diffuse attention in a Feminine Archetypes class, where Diana the Hunter and virgin has focused attention. Demeter the mother had diffuse attention, perhaps scanning the metaphorical horizon to care for her daughter. 

We then did an exercise on attention. When we stared out across the room, we had diffuse attention. When our scene partner nudged us on the shoulder, we swayed. When we focused on a spot, we were solid. I think about my ballet classes as a kid. When we were doing a series of turns, we were told to pick a spot on the wall and focus so we wouldn't get dizzy or lose our balance. 

Sometimes in life when we are wrestling with a challenging problem or situation, we need to turn our focus off for a bit. I was talking to a friend about this last week. Sometimes we need to intentionally turn off our hamster wheel of a brain, and let our subconscious tackle a problem. This requires a tremendous amount of trust or faith. This is what it means to let something go. It doesn't mean we don't care--it means we need to loosen the death grip we have on a problem for a bit.

This week I took a few days off of work to go to the festival. Last night, I dreamt about a problem at work, and the solution floated to the surface. 

 By letting it go, I let it come to me.

The Power of Nope

(Warning: Here come the post-Improv festival spam posts. In my defense, it was a rich weekend. So much of what I learned applies to all of life, not just to stepping on the stage to "make shit up.")

Patti Stiles talked to us yesterday about the power of "Nope." She had the group do a scene with a partner and one partner would continually ask their partner "What's next?" If the one partner liked the offer, they would act out the scene. If they didn't like the offer, then they would say, "Nope" in a sweet little voice with the tilt of the head. 

The idea is that it is okay to say "no" to our scene partner. She made it cutesy to differentiate the different types of no's. "Nope" means I still want to play versus a no that suggests "get me out of here."

Think of it when a friend asks you out to dinner. You might say no, that night doesn't work for me. Or no, I'd rather eat in. It means I still want to see you, but Tuesday doesn't work for me. Or I want to see you, but let's do something else instead.

I remember a date I had as a college freshman. This guy I was crushing on asked me to pumpkin carving party for Halloween. When I got to the party, and there were ten women, and about five guys. I was not thrilled with this ratio. The guy I liked ex-girlfriend was there in the middle of the living room holding court. My crush was in the kitchen, lowkey ignoring me, lowkey peaking out to check me out. At the end of the party, he walked me home. When we got to my dorm, he invited me to another party that night. I said "no" when I really meant "nope." What I really wanted to do was go make out in the basement. I was too chicken to be that forward and ask directly for what I wanted, especially after I was not tended to during the first party. He heard "no" and ignored me for four months. I couldn't figure out what happened.

Patti isn't always a big fan of "yes and." She thinks the only absolute in improv to take care of our scene partner. She thinks an improviser can refuse an offer if it doesn't delight them. We have a responsibility to ourselves to follow our heart and find what delights us. We can't do that without a few "nopes." 

Isn't this true of life, too? What can we do to take care of each other? We have to hope that our partners feel the same way. We also have a responsibility to them to know what we want, to know what delights us. We can use our "nopes" for good, not evil.

Scary Places

This weekend was Unexpected Productions Festival. I spent twelve hours in intense classes with internationally known improvisation teachers. Patti Stiles is from the Loose Moose Theatre in Alberta, Calgary where she studies under Keith Johnstone, the man who turned improv into an art form. 

Patti made a comment this weekend:

The stage is a scary place.

You can either put on more armor

or

you can have less fear.

The thing I love about this statement is that is applies to everything.

The ________ is a scary place.

You can either put on more armor

or

you can have less fear.

Trying new things is a scary place.

College is a scary place.

A new job is a scary place.

Parenting is a scary place.

Opening your heart is a scary place.

Love is a scary place.

You can either put on more armor

or

you can have less fear.

Armor can protect us from getting hurt, but that same armor also protects us from having fun, knowing love, and connecting with others.

We often enter places where we are scared and don't know what is going on. So often, we think we are facing a dragon, when the world isn't as often as scary as we think it is. 

And if there are dragons, does our fear help us anyway? Fear blocks bravery and courage and love.

Hookers, Blow & the Prodigal Son

I just started watching The Righteous Gemstones streaming on Max, nee HBO, with Danny McBride. It's a story about a family of mega-church preachers. Right after the opening credits, the eldest son, played by McBride, is blackmailed with a video of him doing cocaine at a party with the company of prostitutes. The blackmailers want $1 million in cash to destroy the video. Jesse Gemstone's father controls the family funds, so Jesse is trapped. He and his family's reputation and business will be destroyed if the video gets out. His wife will at worst leave him and at best be pissed off at him for years.

I remember seeing such a wild and bold opening to a show. I don't know if I'll like where the whole thing lands, but damn is a great way to start. I imagine the family will find love, acceptance and redemption along the way, but I imagine it will be a bumpy road.

I can't wait. I hope the rest of the story does justice to the beginning.

Downtown and FIFA Club World Cup

I've been to two of the FIFA Club World Cup games in Seattle in the past week, and it has been so much fun living downtown while this all is happening. 

Living downtown near the Market means the world comes to me. This week, I've seen Brazilians, Argentinians, Parisians, Japanese people, people from Spain and Italians.

This morning I was walking my dog, and I think I saw guys from Paris Saint-Germain running in my neighborhood. They were wearing PSG logos on their clothes, and they had the floppy and flexible running gait that soccer players have, compared to marathons runners who look like they are not having fun.

Today while I was getting dinner, I am sure I saw some French or Italian women. When I see women so elegantly dressed, but casual at the same time, with perfect hair and sunglasses, I know they are from a major metropolitan area. These women were not about to get on a cruise to Alaska for a week.

It is fun to be at the heart of it all, and have the fun come to me.

Beauty

I was walking back to my condo after lunch and I saw a field protected by a chain link. I was surprised that I didn't see the beautiful wildflower flowers inside on the way there.

I needed to stop and look closer to see the beauty behind the fence. I was glad I did. It was the highlight of my day.