Thursday, March 5, 2026

Apple, Apple, I'm your Bitch

I've had my Apple Watch now for about a month, and I'll be damned if I am not doing what it tells me to do, like it is my boss, my master, my dom.

Today at work, it told me it was time to stand up, so I stood up. It tells me how much to exercise, how much to sleep and when to go to bed. It even knows my name, and says "Good Morning, Lauren!" It is polite and friendly and I obey.

I obey my watch, and I feel bad when I don't.

Sometimes.

Right now, I am disobeying. I should be in bed by 10:30 and I am not. I am sitting here writing a blog post instead. I feel kind of bad, but aren't I a grown up? Can't I go to bed whenever I want to?

In fairness, I programmed this watch to boss me around. It asks me how often I want to stand, and I tell it. It asked me how much I want to exercise, and I told it. It asked me when I want to go to bed and when I want to wake up. 

Is this new gadget my tech overlord, or is it helping me to stay disciplined? 

I don't know. I need to get to bed. I don't want to get a low sleep score tomorrow morning.




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