My neighbor Lydia has walked my dog twice a week for about three years. She is almost eighty years old and we live in the same condo building. She used to have an adored pup years ago, but no longer. Her walking my dog has been a blessing to her, me and, of course, Fox.
Lydia has taken a turn. Last week, we walked from our building to a coffee shop on the waterfront. She used to do this walk almost every day. When we got to the shop, she had forgotten her wallet and her phone. When we got back to the condo, she didn't have her key fob to get back into the building.
I was terrified for her. What would have happened if I wasn't with her and she was alone? How could she have gotten back in to her home? Would she have been able to figure it out?
I didn't think so.
If she can't remember her keys and doesn't know where her wallet is, I figured she isn't eating. Since then, I've been bringing her breakfast and inviting her over for dinner. Food seems to be the best medication -- she seems more alert now she's getting at least two meals a day.
The scary thing for me is watching someone navigate aging alone. Lydia has never been married and doesn't have kids. She has had a wonderful and exciting life as a single woman. She did it right. She is strong, smart and brave. And yet, she struggles.
I worry about myself, what will happen to me as I age alone? I have kids, but they don't live in the same state, just like I moved away from my family. Am I looking into a crystal ball, seeing my own future?
My friend Jamie works with seniors, and she said reminded me that even with married couples, men die first and women are left to navigate the aging alone. Even if I was married or partnered, I will likely age alone.
The happy side of the Lydia story is that she is happy. She is content. She smiles and laughs and tells her stories.
Maybe aging has its upsides?
