Jury Duty

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from a random cell phone number with a (206) area code. I typically answer these calls in case they are my kids calling from a friend's cell phone or something like that. I was less than a month out from my surgery, when the man called and said he was a deputy marshall and there were two changes against me for missing jury duty. One of the charges was for missing jury duty, and the other was for contempt of court. I asked the man how I was notified that I was on jury duty, and he said I should have gotten a letter in the mail. I was kind of freaked out because before my surgery I was super busy and might have missed the letter. After my surgery, I was completely out of it and might have missed it.

"It is possible I missed this," I said. "I just had surgery and might not have seen the letter. What do I need to do about this?"

"You can come down to the eighth floor of the courthouse and..." the man said.

I was beginning to think this was crazy.

"What?" I said. "Hold on. I just had surgery and you want me to come downtown?"

"Well ma'am..."

"I am going to call the courthouse and find out what the real plan is," I said.

"You will not be able to contact the right people if you call the courthouse," he said. By now I was guessing this was scam. He kept giving me his cell phone as the number to call to find out the plan.

"If this is legitimate, then I will be talking to you in ten minutes," I said and hung up.

I contacted the U.S. District Court, and they had no record that I was scheduled for jury duty.

Yesterday, I got a letter in the mail for jury duty. My daughter brought in the mail and had read the outside of the envelope which had in big, bold print "JURY DUTY SUMMONS" written on the outside.

"Fuck," I said. (My daughter later reported that I said the f-word about fifty times. I think it was closer to three.) "Maybe I can get out of it because of my knee."

"Jury duty is an important responsibility," Claire Adele said. "You should do it. I had to write an essay for my social studies class on why this is so important."

I think I dropped another f-bomb. I've never done jury duty before. I was called when I lived in Chicago, but got out of it because we moved to St. Louis. My mom has been a juror, and was on some large and long cases, including a murder trial. She was on a federal grand jury for a financial scandal that lasted months. I used to joke that she was a professional juror.

"If you can't get out of it, you should get into it!" Claire Adele said in a super perky voice. When did my daughter become such a Pollyanna? "I learned this at the YMCA. This is what the counselors say to kids who don't want to participate in activity. I am going to be using this a lot this summer." She is going to be a CIT, Counselor in Training, this year and now she is using the techniques she would use on an obstinate ten year olds on me. Hopefully, my daughter won't apply this cheerful aphorism to situations like date rape and whatnot.

I am going to talk to Evan, my physical therapist, to see if I can use my temporary disability to get out of jury duty. While I could do the work of a juror, it would be a big problem if I got on a case where I had to be sequestered and didn't have access to exercise equipment to do my physical therapy.

Could this be the only silver lining to my accident? Getting out of jury duty? Or might this not be enough to get me out of it? Oy.