Apple Watch

I’ve always thought Apple Watches were stupid and ugly.

I thought they were for young, tech savvy hipsters who loved the latest gadgets. I had a coworker who was an early adapter for the Apple Watch, being all Dick Tracy and seeing how far away she could get from her phone and still get text messages and phone calls. 

No thank you. If I am far from my phone, I don’t want to get a call or a text. I don’t want to be that connected.

There is a second demographic of Apple Watch users that I now find myself becoming: Geriatric people who want to track every heartbeat and breath, who want to track their sleep and cardiac output. My dad and my aunt--two of my favorite people—wear an Apple Watch to monitor their health statistics.

Yeah, this is me. 

Ugh. 

I like watches. My engagement present from my ex was a fancy watch instead of a diamond ring. I loved this watch until I signed my divorce paperwork. Then, I couldn’t wear it anymore without wanting to barf. I found a beautiful watch made of white ceramic—the same type of industrial ceramic used to make tiles on the space shuttle. I have another watch with a mother of pearl face and simple leather strap.

Why would I want a black glass square that shows fingerprints on my wrist? Why?

Because monitoring my health is more important than beauty. Oh god…is this the meaning of aging? Giving up the ego of beautiful things to focus on preservation? Have I crossed into a new realm?

I ordered the “prettiest” Apple Watch I could find. I am going to wear this thing 24/7 and I want it to look good and be comfortable. It cost an arm and a leg, but I didn’t care. Actually, I did care. I cared a lot and was annoyed I was spending this much money on something I am expecting to hate. So I justified getting the coolest one so I can hate it less? There is a flaw in logic here which I overcame by throwing money at the problem.

I am hoping I don’t hate this new watch, but this one device is supposed to do too much. How can a sleep monitor be something cool that I want to wear to work and out with friends? I want something elegant that I can also wear while doing the dishes. My engagement present was great in that regard, but I never wore it to bed. It was too clunky to sleep with.

The watch will be delivered soon. I’ll keep you posted.