Within the last year, my husband has offered to get me a string of pearls. I can't remember if it was for my birthday or Christmas or in honor of us having our first date twenty five years ago. He is not a big gift giver, and I am in charge of the money in the house. With the exception of buying a new bike, it is natural that he would check with me first before making a large purchase. He was thinking of getting an heirloom quality strand -- something I could wear to the ballet and important meetings and then pass on my daughter.
I hemmed and hawed. I am painfully practical and mildly frugal. I don't wear much jewelry other than my wedding ring, a pair of pearl earrings, and the watch I got as an engagement present. I wear the pearl earrings because I am not creative enough to decide which earring to wear on any given day or with a specific outfit. My teenage daughter has dozens of costume jewelry earrings, mixing them up every day. Either I lack her flair, or she lacks my staidness. Pearls match everything, at least that is what I tell myself.
The practical side me didn't want to spend all of that money on something that I would rarely wear. That money could be earning interest or dividends or could be saved to send the kids to college. Better that than sitting on the top of dresser.
Thoughts of pearls also brought back not-so-fond memories of the 1980's where at my preppy high school I wore a fake strand of pearls on a regular basis with my white turtlenecks, crew neck sweaters and permed hair. The pearl earrings somehow aren't part of that faded picture in my mind, though that was the era when I got them. Maybe because I wear them every day, they transcend fashion and time. I don't know.
I brought the question up with three middle-of-the-road friends. By middle-of-the-road, I mean not my most admirably frugal friend who makes her own hamburger buns and invests the savings in the stock market. She is a master of minimalism and simplicity. Nor did I ask one of my good friends from college who on any given day elegantly wears the price of small car in bling. In terms of jewelry, these three friends were neither too much or too little.
Each of them said, "Get the pearls." I was surprised they did not fully empathize with my quandary and questions this arose in me. They were of the mind "Your husband wants to get you a nice piece of jewelry. Let him."
One of my friends blamed Seattle. "It is this town," she moaned. "People don't wear jewelry here." She is originally from California and had lived in Brooklyn. "In New York, some women had diamond rings so big they could barely lift their hand. They needed slings to hold their arms. This," she pointed to her multi-diamond and sapphire rings that stretched to her knuckle, "was nothing in New York." In Seattle, her rings catch the eye.
My friend the artist grew up in the South where a woman would get a strand of pearls to mark various milestones in her life: getting married, having a baby, etc. The strands started out short and would increase in length as the woman aged.
"Women wear several strands at a time," she said, "with the older women wearing ropes and ropes of pearls." I imagined them looking like flappers, or flappers looking like them.
For some cultures, jewelry is an important part of life. My great-aunt, who was Italian, made a hobby of collecting gold. I asked my college friend, who is Taiwanese, why jewelry is so important. "It is portable wealth." Over the ages and around the world, there have been periods political unrest and upheaval. Gold, gems and pearls often kept their value in times of uncertainty. Unlike a house or piece of furniture, jewelry is easily transported.
My teacher friend believes jewelry is wearable art. On the Ave there is a jewelry shop called Danaca, where women hone their craft in silversmithing and experiment with new techniques in jewelry making. I love this place. I got a periwinkle beaded necklace with a clasp moulded out of silver clay there. It is one of a kind and makes me feel like a princess. Seriously. The necklace looks like something Cinderella would wear. My teacher friend was with me when it caught my eye.
After a thoughtful conversation about pearls over lunch, my teacher friend wrote me an email. I am thinking she has the final word.
Remember, jewelry not only makes a woman look beautiful, more importantly, it makes her feel beautiful. I may be headed into the leggings-and-tunic stage of my life (also known as “middle age”), but that is no reason to relinquish the pursuit of feeling beautiful!
Pearls: yes!
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