Life's Plot

May you live in interesting times. 
    -- Chinese curse

Grandfather dies, father dies, son dies.
    -- Chinese blessing

I was reading Margaret Drabble's "The Pure Gold Baby," which is told from the perspective of a friend of the hero.  The friend watches Jess raise her intellectually disabled but otherwise pleasant and happy daughter.  Anna was the pure gold baby because of her easy temperament.  But this was the child that never grew.

This novel got me thinking about the plot of our lives.  Do lives come with a plot, an even story line with ups and downs, and then tidy conclusions?  I suppose the basic plot of an American life would be

• Go to school, 
• Go to college, 
• Get a job,
• Get married,
• Have kids,
• Buy a house,
• Raise kids,
• Take vacation,
• Maybe get a dog or cat
• Kids repeat cycle, and then
• Retire and die.

Depending how things go, some lives are mostly comedies and others are mostly tragic.  Some people have the good fortune to sweep along at an easy pace with nothing unsettling happening along the way to disrupt the pattern.  Some lives predictably follow this storyline to the point of boredom, with nothing interesting--good or bad--happening along the way.

In the "The Pure Gold Baby," a friend watches someone else life that didn't follow the script.  I am thinking of my friends whose lives have varied from the pattern, for better or worse.  On the better side, some might skip the step of getting married or going to college, and manage just fine.  And then there are those of us who hope to follow the plan, but get waylaid such as the parents of children with disabilities or mental illness, who will tend to their children throughout adulthood.  Some lives are cut short.  Parents might bury a child, or a child might lose a parent.  Some get divorced and then don't have a companion.  Some might live in poverty or be unemployed, where making ends meet or finding the next meal is their challenge.  Some lives have a blip or two of tragedy, where others might be mired in chaos.

On Thanksgiving, I am thinking of all of my friends and family whose lives have varied from the script, for better or worse.  I am most thankful for the empathy, support and love I received from my friends and family when my own life deviated from the plan.