The Kids are Back, or Boarding School Boy and Poker

And all is well.

For the most part.

Eh.

Families are hard.

I wish my family was easy

but is it not.

I wish I was relaxed

not anxious about everything.

I am trying to change

but is it hard. 

Earlier this week I was going to write about how splendid and wonderful it was to have my family all together, and how fantastic and wonderful the Boy is doing. He is doing so much better. I feel like he is out of the woods in so many ways. He understands what his anxiety is, and he's learning tools to help him manage it himself. One of our family's many therapists said "Emotional maturity is being honest with yourself." The Boy is getting there, and I am so grateful and relieved.

Saturday, the kids taught Jack and I how to play Texas Hold 'Em poker. Both kids play regularly at school. The Boy plays one a week at school. (Replacing drug, alcohol and screen addictions with gambling addictions, or just a fun, social game? Anyhow...) Claire-Adele plays with friends in the dorm. The Boy in some ways is living the college life, minus the freedom to make his own schedule. He hangs with friends and peers 24/7, from brushing his teeth to every meal to all entertainment to sleeping in the same room. Layer in fifteen months of residential therapy, and the Boy is so mature. He seemed more like a twenty-three year old than a seventeen year old. He is learning self-mastery, the ability to manage himself instead of needing an authority figure to do it for him. Some people need someone to give them rules, then they can follow the rules. That is not self-mastery. That is rule following.

As a parent, I feel tremendous relief.

Then, the bickering started. 

Oy.

I hate bickering.

It makes me stressed.

I need to detach

and look at the positive sides of 

my kids.