Tuesday, December 21, 2021

No Pomp, Just Circumstance

Claire-Adele finished college this week. I would say she "graduated," but there was no ceremony. All graduation activities were canceled due to concerns about the omicron variant. Last Thursday, Claire-Adele got an email from the university saying "with a heavy heart," everything was off. The keynote speaker was supposed to be Jeff Kinney, the guy who wrote the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series and graduated from University of Maryland. Actually, he graduated from the University of Maryland first, then wrote about the "Wimpy Kid," a story about a hapless middle schooler and his family. It is pee-your-pants funny, right up there with Captain Underpants by Dav Pinkey.

Claire-Adele has been through two stages of grief, so far: sadness and anger. She cried and sobbed when she found out. She was so upset she dropped a couple of f-bombs. "'We are sorry for the inconvenience,'" she said, reading from the UMD email. She found their wording insufficient. "'Inconvenience' is when the wifi is down, not canceling graduation." She got really salty when she got another email saying they were selling tickets to a basketball game in the same venue.

It was confirmed that selling basketball tickets while canceling graduation was a bad thing. Yesterday, I was walking through Logan Circle in D.C. and I was approached by a guy from CNN filming a segment called "Ask the Ethicist."

"Hypocrisy!" shouted Norm when I told my my daughter's tale of woe. "It is unfair! These institutions are so big that they aren't connected to people anymore. They don't see people's faces when they make decisions. Plus you spent thousands of dollars to travel here! They don't know the impact." This Norm guy was all over it.

"What are you doing for her instead?" Norm asked.

I drew a blank. The notice of the canceled graduation was so short we didn't think of an alternative plan. Neither did the university. There was no Zoom graduation with the kids' names scrolling by, no speeches by the university president designed to make parents cry. We came to Maryland anyway, not knowing what else to do. Claire-Adele said she will go happily to her kids' graduations at some distant date in the future, knowing she missed her own.

Yesterday afternoon was the originally scheduled date for the graduation. Instead of going to the ceremony, we walked around a very quiet campus. The last day of finals is today, but only a few kids were around the campus studying. A few kids walked around in their caps and gowns getting pictures taken. Others were moving out. Others were with their parents, hitting the campus bookstore, buying gifts.

Claire-Adele made a reservation for dinner at a campus bar and grill. She wore a white dress along with her cap and gown, hair done, make-up on, as if she were at her real graduation. It was strange for all of us not have had a ceremony. There was no moment marking before and after, no moment of her marching across the stage as they called her name. It just was. 

Claire-Adele starts a new job in January in D.C.. She is very excited about the role and the position pays well, well enough for her to live in the big city. Even though she could afford her own place, she will stay in her campus apartment through the spring, and then will move. She will be off the family dole next month. For that, I am grateful. She has been growing towards independence, and now she is free.

I didn't take any pictures of her in her cap and gown. We don't have any group or family photos with her. I don't have a picture of her walking across the stage with someone handing her a diploma.

Instead, I have a picture of her in my mind. I see her back, marching out of the bar and grill ahead of me with her bare legs, high heels and gown flowing. Her head was high, ready to take on the world, no matter what it dishes out.

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