192 Degrees

I had a dream the other night that I was listening to a weather report that said the temperature in Chicago was 192 degrees. My first thought was "I hope my grandmother doesn't die in this weather," but when I woke up I remembered my grandmother had died years ago. 

Then I thought about Elon Musk and his rocket ships, built with the intent that we on earth can someday find another home as the environment here evolves into something that potentially could not sustain human life in future generations. 

While I applaud his efforts for electric cars, I question the spaceship plan. How are we going to get billions of people a new home on Mars? That is quite the dream. Would it be workable? Doable? 

My mind switched up and got a case of science fiction. What if we built tunnels and homes underground as a way to sustain life on a planet that is falling apart. I don't want to become a mole person, but we could potentially live underground during times of extreme heat and extreme cold, and come to the surface during more moderate times. We could build places that would withstand potential flooding. There are subway tunnels that go under rivers--we could build places that would withstand temporary lakes forming above. We could protect people potentially from forest fires as well. We'd have to figure out underground agriculture. Maybe we would eat lots of potatoes. Would people want to live like this, underground? How many people would say "Screw it" and go out and bake to death in the 190 degree temps instead of living with no sun for months at a time? 

We've already lived under quarantine. How far would humans go for survival? Is the pandemic practice for future things to come?

Trapeze

I was talking to a friend who compared transitions to flying on a trapeze. Transitions are the moment we let go of one swing and before we grab on to the other.

There are so many transitions, whether leaving school or a job. It could be leaving childhood behind, or welcoming middle age. It might be reconciling the death of a loved one, like a parent. There is that moment when we are untethered, in the middle, neither here-nor-there. Letting go can be scary. We don't know what the next handhold will look like, or even if there will be one. There will be something, but we don't know what. We can be free or afraid.

The difference between

falling

and 

flying 

is 

faith.

Happy?

Last week, a friend recommended a new meditation app. I usually I use Calm but he recommended "Ten Percent Happier" based on a book by Dan Harris. I haven't read the book, but I thought I'd give the app a try.

I loaded the app on my phone on Friday, but I didn't try it until yesterday afternoon between eating my Top Pot Donut treat and before I went shopping for a new oven for the condo. I was really stressed about getting a new range. I called my friend Ellen to talk about it. She just moved and is remodeling her new place. Within the past few weeks, she's bought all new appliances. I told her I get overwhelmed looking at appliances, comparing features and specs and price point and consumer reviews. Really. It freaks me out.

Ellen suggested I listen to my heart to see how I should go about picking a range. 

"How did you pick your appliances?" I asked. 

"I pick the pretty one," she said.

To mellow myself out before I went shopping, I listened to one of the basic meditations on "Ten Percent Happier." I'm always a little nervous to try something new. I prefer the tried and true, the comfortable.

This meditation was about intentions.

May I be safe.

May I be happy.

May I be at ease.

This should be nice and easy, except it wasn't. I started arguing in my head with the mediation leader about happiness. Should I really wish to be happy? Isn't that asking for too much? I am with being safe and at ease, serene and sane. But happy? I read in a bunch of parenting books that you shouldn't want your kids to be happy, you should want them to grow up to be independent. Happy implies never making them upset or angry or disappointed. Life is full of pain. The challenge of life is to embrace the pain without being consumed by it. 

Then I started to think that there is something wrong with me for not wanting to be happy. In some twelve step programs, they talk about being happy, joyous and free. What is the opposite of happy joyous and free? I don't want to be sad, miserable or trapped.

Today I was talking to some friends and the conversation came up of what would you do if you had unlimited courage. The question was harder for me to answer than it should have been. 

To be honest, the first thing I thought of was to get season tickets to the Seattle Sounders. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is because it takes courage to have fun, to be in a large crowd again. Sounders games are fun. It is cool to cheer for your team.

Maybe I want to have the courage to be happy, joyous and free.

Donuts + Pineapple

I started a job last March in the middle of the pandemic. Since I've been working remotely, I haven't gotten to talk to my co-workers very much. Yesterday, I broke down and booked a half an hour on my calendar with a woman on my team. I was going to tell her about a project I am working on and ask her opinion. Instead, we shot the shit, which was perfect and wonderful. 

We talked about taking care of ourselves, as middle-aged women are wont to do. She has abandoned sugar in her diet.

"I used to eat so many donuts. I had donuts for breakfast all of the time," she said. "At work, I would go to Starbucks and get vanilla lattes. It was the worst. Then I started reading about sugar and how awful it is on your body. "

I told my new friend and co-worker I know about sugar and carbs. My dad has Type-2 diabetes, which he manages through diet and exercise. Recently, my dad had to take a short break from exercise. He asked a nutritionist what he could do to manage his blood sugar if he couldn't ride his elliptical or lift weights for a few weeks. The nutritionist told him to meditate: it drops the cortisol in your body and drops your blood sugar. I knew meditation was spiritually and emotionally good for people, but good for your physical health, too? Who knew? Talk about win-win-win.

Anyway, today I was out and about and I all I could think about was donuts. The power of suggestion. My friend and I didn't talk about the goodness of kale and quinoa. We talked about the badness of donuts, which made me want a donut.

Donuts.

Donuts.

Donuts.

I don't even like donuts that much. I prefer croissants and scones and eggs for breakfast before donuts. 

Yet, there is a soft spot in my heart for Top Pot's Double Trouble--a chocolate cake donut with chocolate glaze.

After my morning meeting, I booked it over to Top Pot and got not one but two donuts! I ate half of each which is a whole donut. I finished it off with a mocha. 

Oh my god.

It was so good. 

I ate the donuts with a side of pineapple, in a very lame attempt to add balance to the universe, as if the pineapple will cancel out the evils of the donut. I think in some olden days, people could buy off sins if they donated to the church. Like, Yeah, I stole from my cousin but I bought new pews and a stained glass window, so in the eyes of god, I am good, right?