Sugar, Sugar, I am Your Bitch

Sugar, darling, I love you but you are killing me. I want to give you up but it is so hard. You keep pulling me to you, drawing me in.

I don't adore all sugary foods. I am a fan of cakes, muffins, brownies, ice cream, dark chocolate, and gummy bears. While that list covers a broad swath of sweets, I am not a candy store fan.

This morning, I had fresh blueberries and quiche and a bite of a seven layer bar. The blueberries and the quiche were really nice, but the seven layer bar was like fireworks of sweetness exploding in my mouth. The blueberries and the quiche were dull by comparison.

You might be wondering, "Why is she eating seven layer bars for breakfast when she needs watch what she eats? I thought she didn't want diabetes."

I fell off the sugar free, flour free wagon last week. I am supposed to avoid these foods because my A1C blood levels suggest I am pre-diabetic. Last Tuesday, I went into the office and some other teams had in person working sessions, and they bribed everyone with two meals a day for three days. The copious leftovers were put in the kitchen on my floor, including bite sized desserts which are the worst because look cute and tiny but they are deadly, like poisonous dart frogs.

I am more stressed than I should be about this upcoming A1C blood test at the end of August that will measure my average blood sugar levels over three months. The fear of upcoming test is like spooky background music in a horror movie, telling my the serial killer is right around the corner. In my mind -- every time I eat (or don't eat), I am thinking about my blood sugar. I think the stress got to me and I caved. It is like I am at the climax of the movie, turning on the lights in the dark and creepy house and having a conversation with the madman. 

"Okay, Okay, I know you are going to kill me, but first let's talk over these fabulous banana chocolate chips muffins first and maybe you'll change your mind about doing me in. Do you want a cappuccino with that? No sugar in mine, thanks. I promise I'll hit the elliptical for forty minutes after this snack. Surely, you can be reasonable and compromise here. Tell me -- what do I need to do to bring a some bread and pasta back into my life? How often can I eat muffins? Please? Please?"