I am playing on my summer pickle ball League. I am still a beginner, and, as many of you know, this is the first time I've ever played a competitive sport. I'm still wrapping my head around winning and losing. I get a decent amount of exercise, but I'm not racing my paddle board or bike. Maybe somewhere in the world there is competitive yoga, but I haven't seen it yet.
The pickle ball team I am on has two types of people: people who want to win, and people who want to have fun and socialize.
At yesterday's game, the competitive people were there. Brian and I were the two chill people out of six.
I struggled.
I felt a silent pressure to win. No one said anything, but the vibe was there.
I realized yesterday that when I play to win, I play worse, which in some ways is obvious. If I feel pressure to win, I might choke and not play as well. Some people thrive on that competitiveness, and it makes them sharper. I can see that.
This is different. When I play to win, I play it safe. I try to avoid making errors instead of taking risks to try new things. I stick with old skills. I play a safe game. For example: In pickle ball, the idea is to play close to the net and slap the ball so your opponent can't return it. I don't have a lot of confidence (yet) playing at the net. I kind of suck at playing at the net, but if I never play at the net, how will I get better? How will I gain confidence? I won't. Likewise, if I play at the net, I know there is a far greater chance that I will miss more shots and lose. I can practice outside of games to build my confidence--and I do--but using those skills in a game is different.
With the Olympics on, I think of Simone Biles, the gymnastics GOAT. Is her focus or purpose to win, or is it to get better, to test her own limits? (Full disclosure: I know nothing about gymnastics. I am speculating.)
My guess is her focus is more on improving versus winning. Why do I think this? Because she is the GOAT: her main competitor is herself. It looks like she strives to be better than she was before.
I suppose something similar could be said for Taylor Swift. Was her goal to have the biggest concert tour ever, or was it to push herself to do something she had never done before in scope and scale? When she has talked about how she came up with the idea for the Eras Tour, her goal was push the limits.
I find this fascinating, the whole idea of better versus winning. I'd rather try to play a whole game at the net and push myself to learn something new and get my clock cleaned than play it safe and come home with a trophy at the end of the season and still play as shitty as I did to start.
Which brings me to another point: I start a new job next week. Same company, lateral move, totally different skill set required. I could coast in my current role, stay there for ages and stagnate. My old job is safe and easy. The person who recommended me for the job was a friend who held the role for four months.
His assessment: "It was like drinking from a firehose."
I've drank from the firehose before. I ran for office. That was the steepest learning curve I've ever had. I lost the race but learned so much about myself. I also didn't sell my soul in the process.
I know there are times where we need to focus on winning, to play a strategy, to assess the competition. I am not saying never win. Winning is fun. Winning is cool.
And yet.
Next week, I embark on better.
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