On the one hand, I'd like her to be social and have friends during lunch. I don't want her to be the only one staying in, eating her toasted peanut butter sandwiches and gala apples alone. On the other hand, I don't want to fund her frappuccino habit? A Grande Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended Creme is 410 calories. I have no idea what one costs ($3.85? $4.25?), but seriously, 410 calories that can be sucked down in two minutes? I know she runs cross country, but come on.
I've started asking other parents of teens how they handle money with their kids. Are they an ATM, or do they give their kids an allowance and expect them to budget? I had an allowance growing up, which was lunch money plus $5 a week. Was this enough? I didn't really need to worry because I had a male chauvinist pig* boyfriend with a job who insisted on paying for everything. Another boyfriend had affluent parents who were the ATM. I saved my money and took a trip to France my junior year. If my parents had the ATM approach, I never would have been able to save up for something big.
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"A creamy blend of rich mocha-flavored sauce, chocolaty chips, milk and ice. Topped with sweetened whipped cream and mocha drizzle." -- Starbucks.com
Read: This is dessert. And the word "chocolaty" freaks me out. Is it or is it not real chocolate?
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I've started asking other parents of teens how they handle money with their kids. Are they an ATM, or do they give their kids an allowance and expect them to budget? I had an allowance growing up, which was lunch money plus $5 a week. Was this enough? I didn't really need to worry because I had a male chauvinist pig* boyfriend with a job who insisted on paying for everything. Another boyfriend had affluent parents who were the ATM. I saved my money and took a trip to France my junior year. If my parents had the ATM approach, I never would have been able to save up for something big.
One set of parents I talked to about money and teens has two boys, both of whom have graduated from high school. One son was shy, so the parents took the ATM approach. Anytime he asked to go out, they were happy, so they forked over the cash. Their other son was an athlete, and they wanted to make sure he had enough to eat, so they funded his Rain City Burger lunch. Both boys were on the frugal side, so they never had to worry about the kids over asking. The kids pretty much spent money on what they said they were going to spend it on, so no worries.
Another friend said she gives her kid money on the ATM basis so she can control her daughter's spending. She does not want her daughter buying clothes that would be suitable for a stripper gig. Makes sense.
There is another crowd that gives an allowance, many depositing money to an account and giving the kid a debit card to manage. Some give money for clothes, others parents give an allowance and still fund the non-optional things, like safety gear for sports or athletic fees.
Jack and I had this conversation with the Big E and she completely balked at the idea of getting an allowance. I was shocked. She said she'd rather ask for money when she needs it. Little does she know that she could be amassing a small (very small) fortune as there are more weeks she doesn't need money than when she does.
Part of me thinks I am getting the better deal keeping the money in my bank account. I have saved money for the kids to go to college, but very little of it is in their names. I want to reserve the right to cash it in in case we need a new roof or one of us were to become disabled.
But therein lies the lesson: The Big E--and everyone else--should learn the value of saving for a rainy day. And when the rainy day fund is full, time to fund a trip to Paris or New Zealand or whatever floats your boat. The Big E could ask for money when she needs it, but then she will depend on us. Having money means she doesn't have to ask. If we give her money and allow to her spend it within reason, she gets freedom.
* I debated whether or not to refer to one of my high school boyfriend as a male chauvinist pig. He was, and not because he paid for everything. He thought he was smarter than all women because of his y-chromosome. I could have a whole blog post on this dude, but I won't. Well, maybe but I'd rather avoid thinking about him altogether.
There is another crowd that gives an allowance, many depositing money to an account and giving the kid a debit card to manage. Some give money for clothes, others parents give an allowance and still fund the non-optional things, like safety gear for sports or athletic fees.
Jack and I had this conversation with the Big E and she completely balked at the idea of getting an allowance. I was shocked. She said she'd rather ask for money when she needs it. Little does she know that she could be amassing a small (very small) fortune as there are more weeks she doesn't need money than when she does.
Part of me thinks I am getting the better deal keeping the money in my bank account. I have saved money for the kids to go to college, but very little of it is in their names. I want to reserve the right to cash it in in case we need a new roof or one of us were to become disabled.
But therein lies the lesson: The Big E--and everyone else--should learn the value of saving for a rainy day. And when the rainy day fund is full, time to fund a trip to Paris or New Zealand or whatever floats your boat. The Big E could ask for money when she needs it, but then she will depend on us. Having money means she doesn't have to ask. If we give her money and allow to her spend it within reason, she gets freedom.
* I debated whether or not to refer to one of my high school boyfriend as a male chauvinist pig. He was, and not because he paid for everything. He thought he was smarter than all women because of his y-chromosome. I could have a whole blog post on this dude, but I won't. Well, maybe but I'd rather avoid thinking about him altogether.
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