A friend of mine invited me to a luncheon today to support Navos, an organization that supports children and teens with mental illness. I didn't know much about the organization, but since I have family members with mental illness, I was happy to learn more about it.
One of the speakers was a fifty-one year old man who is a leader in the mental health field. I crossed his path in the lobby before his speech, not knowing he was going to speak. We exchanged a few polite words. "There are a lot of people here," he said. I smiled and agreed. I almost said "Isn't that a good thing?" I am glad I held my tongue. He was nervous about addressing the crowd, as he later mentioned in his speech.
As this man took the podium, I wondered what he was like in his twenties. What path did he take to become a leader in his field? I am reading Amy Poehler's Yes Please, and she talks about her days when she was a struggling comic, barely making ends meet. Did this man start out of the gate as a promising young man, or did he emerge? It is easy to see someone so successful in their fifties, and forget that they were once young and regular.
The man got up and said he had two good luck charms: one from his husband and one from his mom. We learned this man was gay in the first five seconds he was on stage.
He talked about his own struggles with mental health as a teenager. He struggled with his identity, attempted suicide, dropped out of school and got into a decent amount of trouble. His mother was a strong advocate for getting him help, and he survived, clearly thrived.
It struck me as ironic that I was thinking this guy was "gay." The original meaning of gay is lighthearted and carefree, which was quite the opposite of this man's adolescence where he felt depressed, hopeless and different. I thought it was interesting that the slang term for homosexual covers up the heartbreak and loneliness that many of these kids go through as teens. I wouldn't want to come up with a more depressing word for homosexuality, but perhaps the word "gay" keeps the emotional journey of these people in the closet. Not all homosexuals go through periods of depression during their teens, but a disproportional number of gay kids have depression compared to their heterosexual peers.
What struck me as remarkable was his recovery from depression and his ability to become a leader in his field after a difficult time as a teen. It was inspiring. It also makes me grateful for gay marriage rights in my state. While I am happy committed homosexual couples can now be granted the same rights as their hetero friends, I am equally happy for teens who are questioning their orientation. Perhaps they won't feel as isolated or alone. Perhaps depression among gay teens will occur at the same rates as the rest of the population.
After this man spoke, there was a short video where the counselors spoke. One man said he hoped his patients could find courage, resilience and hope. What a different this made in the life of the first speaker.
This blog is about the little and big thoughts that pop into my head. I once read that when Flannery O'Connor walked into a bookstore, she would want to edit her published works with a red pen. In the digital world, we have the luxury of tweaking things up after we've hit the publish button. I can be a perfectionist/procrastinator, where waiting for the ideal means little gets done. Here I will share what is not--and likely will never be--perfect.
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