Gray is Good

I was at physical therapy yesterday when I overheard one of the therapists talking about a photoshoot the center was doing to promote their services.

"I am not in the shoot," one of the middle age therapists said. "Ten years ago, maybe, but now I am losing my hair and going gray. Let Scott do it. If it were my company, I'd pick Scott." Scott is younger, taller and in good condition. None of the physical therapists at this place are unattractive. In fact, I was a little intimidated when I walked in and saw all of these fit people--clients and therapists--gathered in one place. You don't see it that often in America. Exercises in front of the mirror are torture here because everyone nearby has a perfect BMI, whereas mine could use a little help. But this is okay.

My friend Lynn and I were talking this weekend. Lynn and I go to the same physical therapy place. Her BMI is in the perfect range, and still would be if she gained ten pounds. She is my age, and last week when working with her PT, he implied she wasn't in that great of shape and she was kind of old. The same thing happened to me last week with Jason. These folks aren't being mean--just honest. They spend a lot of time working with younger people who are serious athletes, not duffers like me who got hurt while skiing. I asked Jason about my progress. "If you were younger and a professional athlete, you would have a different plan," Jason said. "We have athletes who come in twice a day for physical therapy." Lynn's physical therapist said something similar. I almost wanted to bark back for both Lynn and I: "At least we were in good enough shape to get hurt doing something athletic!" But I wouldn't. Jason is exceptionally sweet and gentle (except when he's cranking on my knee), and I can't imagine him ever intentionally saying anything mean or nasty. He is right: I am not a twenty-something or a professional athlete.

Lynn and I both decided though, we'd rather go someplace where we are compared to people twenty five years younger than us than twenty five years older. Agism works in a million ways, unfortunately, but this is what I would take. When it comes to getting back into physical fitness, I'd rather be compared to someone who is much better shape than I am. Perhaps age is contagious. I was at the YMCA today where the demographic is on the older side. When I am at the YMCA, I am one of the younger people there, and yet I don't feel young. At the University gym, I am one of the older people there but I don't feel old. A man in his sixties or seventies was on a recumbent bike and I said hello as I passed.

"I am just trying to get younger!" he said.

I laughed. "Me too."

Then I thought about the photoshoot. Sure, Scott is tall and fit, but gray is good, as I learned back in my consulting days. I was in my twenties and the partner I worked for was in his mid-forties, probably a little younger than I am now. The managers between me and the partner were in their thirties. As with all consulting, you have to meet the clients where they are at. Many clients were flexible, and it didn't matter who they worked with. In other cases, we'd match level for level. There were clients who had their twenty-something manager take care of business, I would often be the point of contact for those people.

I remember at one internal meeting, the partner said he would go to the meeting.

"The client wants some gray hair in the room," he said. The client didn't want to just see the whippersnapper just out of college telling them what to do. They wanted to talk to someone with twenty plus years of experience.

I would go back to the middle age therapist and tell him not to rule himself out of the photoshoot. Gray is good.