Subconscious, and What is Bad Now Can be Good Later

I have been curious about my subconscious lately how it works. I think of my memory like layers of sedimentary rocks. My earliest memories are buried at the bottom, dark and unseen. I might not remember what is there, but is it all part of my mind, who I am.

I think of all my memories are accessible, but some are in deep storage and others are available for me to use on a daily basis. Those memories in deep storage are what make up my subconscious. They are there, in my every day life, shaping and influencing who and what I am, even though I am not aware.

Sometimes we discover something about our lives that we thought was true, something fundamental, and then we find out that it isn't true. When we lie to our own hearts, it isn't just ourselves we hurt. We indirectly lie to other people as we tell them the same lie we are telling ourselves. That can be traumatic, a real mind fuck, as a memories are imbedded one way, packed deeply and safely in our minds, and then we discover that isn't really the case. It is like the foundation of a house has been turned to quicksand, unstable and unsteady. The act of revisiting and resetting these memories in a new context can be brutal and traumatic. The longer the lie has been lived, the more memories there are to be reconciled, the bigger the shake-up and trauma.

Hopefully, the new truth gets reconciled over time, and the foundation becomes solid again. This time, the foundation is built on a new truth. Rebuilding the foundation is difficult and messy. The shift to the new world view is painful.

The upheaval is hard while it is happening, but that is not the end. Sometimes what is bad today can be good for later. When one person stops lying to themselves, they can stop the indirect lying to others. If what is true in people's hearts comes out. The new foundation will hopefully be more solid and stable, and in the end, everyone is better off.