Sunday, November 6, 2022

Recycled Advice

I was talking to Claire-Adele about this painting class I am taking. Each week we work on a new exercise, like painting in different tones, or making a color chart. Some of the people in it have a decent amount experience and talent. I've never painted with oils before, and it is obvious I am a beginner.

"You have a unique drawing language," the teacher said to me. The poor woman was stretching for something kind and interesting to say about my work. I wanted to reply that last time I took a drawing class was in middle school. My teacher's comment reminded me of when I took a watercolors class in my twenties with my friend H. H was painting pearls (super hard in watercolors) and I was painting a pumpkin (super easy in watercolors.) The teacher walked by and commented on the beautiful shade of orange I created, which is the easiest color to mix. It is impossible to make a bad shade of orange. Did I mention my friend was painting pearls? She was making the color "iridescent" which is way harder than orange.

I was grumbling to Claire-Adele that everyone in the class was better than me and I sucked and blah blah blah. I was having my very own private pity party.

"You aren't there to compete with other people," she said. "You are there to learn and become better than you were before."

I wasn't thrilled with her response, as I wanted empathy, not advice. Nevertheless, she was right. The strange thing was that what she said sounded exactly like something I would have said to her. Here is my daughter, giving me advice, echoing what I have probably told her a thousand times.

So then I called my dad looking for sympathy. Maybe he'd have a story about a time when he was bad at something and he overcame and triumphed.

Nope.

"You aren't there to complete with other people," he said. "You are there to learn and become better than you were before."

I am not kidding Claire-Adele and my dad said the exact same thing to me, probably verbatim. There must magic code that has been culturally imprinted in my family, that is getting passed down. It was interesting to see it so directly passed down within a week.





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