"Work is the new sex."
Well, that's interesting, especially if you read it alone and out of context.
I wanted to see this movie just based on this line alone. What did Scott mean?
He was comparing how this movie made today would have been different if it had been made a few years after the real-life story took place, and starred Robert Redford or Steve McQueen.
"Damon and Bale, both charismatic movie stars, don't put out the same kind of erotic magnetism, and their characters are decidedly not tomcats or horndogs...I’m not complaining, just taking note of a shift in mores. Onscreen and maybe off, ambition has taken the place of lust. Work is the new sex. And work — its pleasures and frustrations, the interference of bosses and the camaraderie of colleagues — is what propels “Ford v Ferrari."
Something to think about, yet ambition being a major motivator for characters (or people) isn't a new idea. See: Julius Ceasar by Shakespeare.
On a different topic, I was at brunch today with my friend Ellen when she said something so relevant that I had to stop and write it down. I was looking back at the past year and thought about all of the changes and drama I have seen. In some cases, I postponed making some major decisions about my life, and not moving forward as soon as I would like to have. Specifically, my marriage was in a toxic rut for a long time and I didn't do anything about it. I would stoically suck it up instead of taking action. I was kicking myself about it at lunch today.
"Don't beat yourself up, Lauren," Ellen said. "When you don't know what to do, wait."
I needed to wait on making a decision on my marriage as it would have destroyed any chance I had of getting the Boy help. If I raised up all of the things that were bothering me while the Boy was in crisis, it would have been like pulling the pin out of a grenade. Everything would have blown-up and the Boy would still be laying in bed, not going to school, or maybe he would have killed himself.
After talking to Ellen, I felt better about back-burning my marriage. She reminded me of something else I read* about dealing with problems:
- Acknowledge -- When there is a problem or situation, acknowledge it. This might be the intellectual realization of a situation. Where is your head?
- Accept -- Look at the situation and accept it for what it is, i.e., avoid denial. This might be the emotional reality of a situation. Where is your heart?
- Action -- Are the head and heart aligned? Can you move forward.
All of that sounds easy, but it is not. What if there is no clear path for action andyou don't know? What if there is a double-bind, where neither choice is optional? Where Option A would be heartbreaking and Option B wouldn't be doable or viable? Then what?
For some situations, it is okay to put them on the back-burner, but when there is a crisis at hand, we don't have the luxury of waiting. It was heartbreaking to send the Boy to Wilderness and Boarding School, but letting him lay in bed all day avoiding school and life wasn't working, either. I didn't want to wait to see how bad the Boy was going to get before we got him help. My head and heart got aligned when I acknowledged and accepted that the Boy wasn't going to get himself out of his rut. He needed help I couldn't give him.
Now that he is gone, I've been missing the Boy a lot lately. He is digging deep into his therapy and getting to the root cause of his depression and anxiety. Uncovering the root cause is good (intellectual realization), but incredibly painful to witness (emotional reality). I won't get to see him for another month. Plus, I think he would have liked to see Ford v Ferrari.
* I've been reading a lot lately, and can't remember what I read where. Everything is blurring together.
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