Protein, Fiber, and the C-word

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This post contains what my father would call TMI -- too much information. I don't get into graphic detail, but this is about combating constipation. Feel free to skip this if you are queasy or don't like reading about bowels. You have been warned.

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One of my middle aged women friends (which describes 98% of my friends) brought me lunch today. I noticed a trend in what my friends have been bringing me for me for lunch or dinner over the past week and a half. Two of the dinners were crowd pleasers: cheesy lasagna that everyone in my family will eat. The lunches and one of the dinners have fallen into another category: protein and fiber from Whole Foods, PCC or Metropolitan Market. Hearty soups, quiches and kale and quinoa salads have been loading my plate. Today, I laughed when I saw the soup and chickpea and kale salad. I told her that everyone was bringing me protein and fiber.

"Were you hoping for something more decadent?" she asked.

"Nope," I said.* "I think it is funny that everyone has the exact same thought!"

I need the protein to help heal from the surgery and rebuild/maintain my quadricep muscles, and I need the fiber for my bowels.

One of the major worries after surgery is fear of constipation from the anesthesia and narcotics. Being a middle aged woman does not help this situation at all, as balancing iron and fiber are two major challenges of life for women over forty. Plus, I am not moving so much and I am trying to eat a high protein diet. At my pre-op meeting, Claire, the Physician's Assistant, recommended Miralax, which I used for the first several days after the surgery. Sunday, I was feeling the need for some relief, and I decided to drink an herbal tea with senna, a well known and documents herbal laxative. Jack uses it for his patients on narcotics, and it is less potent than Miralax.

I brewed myself a cup of "Smooth Move" tea and let it steep. It is supposed to steep for ten minutes, but I kind of forgot about and drank it anyway. I was sipping it while I was reading. When I got up, I saw there was a little bit left, and decided to slurp back the dregs in the bottom of the mug.

The next morning was armageddon. In the Battle of the Bowels, the laxative won and took no prisoners. She was like Gen. William T. Sherman blazing through Atlanta, leaving nothing behind. This was shocking, as I've taken "Smooth Move" tea dozens of times with no ill effects. My bowels were empty of everything I have ever eaten, ever. I wasn't worried, and I felt fine. I was getting my energy back, which was good. I was a little thirsty, and I tried to drink more tea. For lunch, I made myself some nachos with my sandwich. I later had salted popcorn. I didn't realize how dehydrated I was from the laxative, and the salt from the chips and popcorn nearly did me in. It wasn't too much salt for a regular day, but yesterday was not a regular day. I was miserable from this crazy inbalance in my life. Perhaps I had been too vigilant in my quest to avoid constipation, and now I was paying the price.

My friend's daughter recently went through ACL surgery, and she was aware of the bowel issues surrounding narcotics. She told me about the Bristol Stool Chart, which I had never heard of before. [Warning: This link contains drawings of poop.] It was insightful, but my knowledge of the c-word comes more from the impact to my body. Am I having flashbacks to childbirth and wishing I had an epidural? It's the c-word.

* I sort of lied. Part of me wanted a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate cake.