Lost Time

Today, I was at my neighborhood coffee shop and I saw the usual barista. She is very thin--willowly--and she looks like she might be pregnant as she has a small pooch on her belly. I knew she just got married, but I was trying to think when. I think she was married five months ago? Is that right?...

Just then, she volunteers, "My one year anniversary is coming up!"

Wow. That is right. She got married last September. Why did my math come up that she was married five months ago? It could be that my middle-aged mind can't count right, or I wasn't fully paying attention to when my barista got married. Or, I could be lazy.

I don't think so. I think I lost some time with my skiing accident and surgery on my ACL. Instead of paying attention to the world around me, I was so inwardly focused, I didn't know what was going for a few months. I lost time because I wasn't connected to the outside world that much. I didn't go to the coffee shop around the corner for months because it was hard for me to walk, especailly up and downhills.

I am starting to apply for jobs, which is an interesting process. I have a blank on my resume and profiles since last December when I got hurt. How do I explain this lost time? It was my experience being a disabled person. I went downtown yesterday just to hang out in a coffee shop for a change of scenery. A few months ago, it would have taken a lot of extra energy to make the trip, even though I had disabled parking pass which made the world easier to navigate. Being a pedestrian was hard. I wasn't always sure I could make it across the street during a walk cycle. When I was inside, I had to decide when it was worth it to leave the house. In some cases, it certainly was, but I might have a hard time the next day as my knee might be swollen or stiff. I remember taking my daughter to Northgate to get a dress for the Winter Ball after my accident and before my surgery. I was fine taking her there, but the next day I was tired and sore.

Now, I am having a hard time remembering what it was like when I couldn't walk after my accident and after my surgery. I think this is the pleasant amnesia that comes with recovery--we forget the pain and hassle so we can move forward. Today, I can make it across a street with the walk sign without a problem. I saw a dad at Peter's soccer game who injured his knee, and I remembered the phase where I was faster with crutches and so slow without them. I remember the transition where I had to ditch the crutches even though they were easier.

Now I am coming back to regular time, and I am realizing what I had been missing.