Tornados and Where are My Cows and Chickens?

A friend of mine read an article about productivity and chasing your dreams. What was I doing to accomplish what I want to accomplish and where was I spending my time? Did they align? What could I eliminate or reduce in my life in order to spend more time doing what I want to do?

Sounds good to me.

I also read the best way to get over disappointment is through hard work. I read that Holocaust survivors coped best when they were working, not remembering what horrors happened in their pasts.

Last fall, I lost an election and then hurt my knee, which was not the best way to get over the disappointment of losing an election. While I could wallow about my knee for nine months, it was not all that healthy or productive. I suppose if someone tore their ACL and they had a job, they could stay on that trajectory. Finding a new trajectory while recovering was really hard. My trajectory at the time was licking my wounds. Not that I did nothing, but I wasn't out there tearing it up and kicking ass.

Knowing I was in the middle of a recovery, I was patient and kind with myself to a point. Now I am starting to think about what to do next, so I started looking at how I spend my time. I know I need to start examining this in order to move on with the disappointment of the lost election and the disappointment of hurting my knee. How was I spending my time?

I looked at this morning. I spent part of the morning chasing a tornado, aka the Boy.

I was in the middle of learning SQL when I heard "I can't find my wallet." He was going to the mall with friends for lunch and needed his wallet. So, I stopped what I was doing and helped the tornado look for his wallet. I could have not helped, but the tornado swirling around wasn't helping me concentrate, either. When I found the Boy's wallet, I forgot what I was doing before, and started something else. Maybe I unloaded the dishwasher. Maybe I put some shoes away. Maybe I plugged a few pieces into a jigsaw puzzle I am working on which also serves as mediation.

Claire Adele is no better. She had a tantrum yesterday when she couldn't find her pre-calc notes and music folder from last year. How can I get this better under control? My home is not an office where meetings are scheduled and a shut door means "Do Not Disturb."

I understand my kids need help, but still why is everything tossed upside down when my kids need something? I don't want to be too closed off, either. I want to know when their friends are giving them a hard time, or when school, sport and clubs are all too much. I want to know when it isn't enough. Crises and emotions can't be scheduled, like Tuesday at 4:00 I will have a meltdown when I can't find my glasses, or Friday at 10:00 a.m. I will cry for no reason.

What did kids do before parents were at their beck-and-call? They were out milking the cows and feeding the chickens. Kids had bona fide responsibility, and there were real consequences to not doing the work. Forgot to feed the chickens? The hen might not lay eggs. Forget to milk the cow? She is probably screaming in pain and there will be no milk for supper.

So where are my cows and chickens? How can I teach my kids responsibility when there are so few consequences to their in action? I am paying the Boy to help me learn SQL. He got a little frustrated at times, but other times he liked it. "It is great when it all falls together," he said. This summer, the Boy helped me and Anita do some painting around the house. He made the work faster for us, and he got spending money. They might not be cows and chickens, but productive work also makes the Boy feel better. The same applies to me. If I could just time the time to figure it out.