Clean All the THINGS!!! and Retro

I talked to my friend Ellen today. I sent her a text.

LM: Call me when you get a chance. I'm cleaning.

I am hosting a work gathering at the condo tomorrow. My new manager has been in his role for about two months and we all deserve a nice celebration for all of the progress we've made since he's been here. Yay! Go team! Which meant tonight I got to navigate the GIANT Metropolitan Market on Queen Anne to buy food for the party. And dinner. And other cool stuff like frozen cioppino base and ice cream that was on sale. Oh...now I get it. MetMarket sells awesome cioppino, so they are selling just their own magical soup base and I get to add the seafood. Sweet.

I told Ellen I was cleaning for this party.

"I don't know why I feel the need to dust under the bed for this party or sweep under my desk," I said.

"When my daughter went to wilderness, I cleaned everything, like stuff that hadn't been cleaned in years," she said.

"You mean like how last week when I cleaned the grease trap on the fume hood above the stove?"

"Exactly!"

It is good to know I am not alone in my manic cleaning while the Boy is in wilderness. It reminded me of Allie Brosh's brilliant blog, Hyperbole and a Half, where she writes about why she will never become an adult. You are welcome for me introducing you to Hyperbole and a Half. "The Party" is my favorite post of hers, followed by "The God of Cake". You just have to promise that you will come back to reading my blog after reading hers. It is like introducing a boyfriend to a much hotter, smarter, and funnier friend, but he is not allowed to hit on her, capiche? You can still like Allie's blog, but don't abandon me.

Now for a funny story, which have seriously been missing from my blog lately. (I really should be reconciling my Visa bill instead of writing, but hey #selfcare.) When I go out to dinner--either with friends or alone--I have lately been using the "Restaurants Near Me" feature on Google Maps on my phone. Last night, I tried The Retro Restaurant and Lounge, a dive bar on Stewart, with heavy emphasis on bar. The Yelp reviews said they have great hamburgers, and on their website it says they get their meat from Don and Joe's butcher shop in Pike Place Market. I've been to Don and Joe's. The bacon is awesome and the guys there are super sweet. Don called me "Doll," which if I were younger, would offend me but now meh. Anyhow, I wanted a good burger because Seattle has a paucity, nay, a dearth of good burgers.

The place is empty except for a tourist couple at a table and three guys at the bar drinking Coors Light. The background music was so bad it was offensive. It was "retro," but like whatever retro was in 1982. When has Yelp ever been wrong? So what if my kids would write brazenly horrific reviews for places on Yelp when they were twelve?

The bartender came to the table to take my order.

"What would you like to drink?" the bartender asked.

"An iced tea with lemon," I said.

"We don't have iced tea, just soda from the soda gun," he said. "Those are the only non-alcoholic drinks we have."

Oy.

He started to list the high fructose corn syrup selections when I cut him off.

This was a real bar. Nothing but booze. I'd rather drink beer than pop, though.

"I'll have a Manny's," I said and ordered my burger. Manny's from Georgetown brewery in Seattle is my favorite beer.

The burger arrived.

It was the best hamburger I've had in Seattle. It rivaled a burger from John Barleycorn, which had the best burgers in Chicago.

It might even be better than Barleycorn, but maybe the Manny's helped pushed it over the edge from awesome to sublime.