I'm Thinking of Joining the NRA

Hear me out.

My son went to school in Montana where hunting wild animals for food is a statewide pastime. I met a bartender who killed a black bear. That bear fed him for a season or two. I've had quail at a dinner party once and I had to pick out the buckshot before I could eat it. I am fine with people hunting deer and ducks with hunting rifles.

I am not fine with people hunting elementary school children. That, my dear friends, is bullshit. 

You need a license to catch a fish in the State of Washington, and that is even for catch-and-release. Should we have a license to hunt people? With limits and shit? Pedro and I had to report to the Department of Wildlife how many fish we captured last year. We could have a Department for Hunting People. We could differentiate by age, gender, race, ethnicity, housing status, addictions, mental health status, etc.. We could have a point system, where different groups are worth some many points, and each hunter is allow a max. Shooting a white middle-aged man would automatically blow your quota unless the guy was a homeless drug addict who shat in your rose garden. And I wouldn't be exclusive to guns! 

You could hunt people with a bow and arrow for all I care. It would a heck of a lot harder, and meeting quota would be challenging. I mean, schools could train the average kindergarten teacher how to defend a classroom against a nut job with a bow and arrow. Likewise, imagine a bow and arrow on a crowded subway. They wouldn't have room to pull back the string. Plus, there is a lot of skill involved. You'd have to take lessons, be coached, and practice before you could be effective.

(I can't take all of the credit for this idea. Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal was my inspiration.)

I digress.

I've given money to various organizations supporting for sensible guns laws. You can see how well that worked. Instead, I think I need to join the NRA. According to Wikipedia, the NRA has an estimated five million members. What if I joined, along with let's say ten or twenty million of my friends who support commonsense gun laws. I could run for President of the NRA on a platform of reform. Or, I get someone else to run, someone more popular than me. As a former PTA leader, I know how to run a membership organization and get stuff done through proper process and protocols. I could fill an entire slate or officers. I could get propositions before the general membership. We could change the NRA report card for political candidates for those who support commonsense gun laws. The NRA had a $432M annual budget as of 2018. With an additional ten million members, that number could go up to $1.3B. Wow! We could get some serious legislation passed with that kind of dough.