Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Things I Wish for that Cannot Be, and What I have Instead

Dear Laurie,*

Here are some thoughts based on the past few days.  Please take care of yourself.

Love,
me


What I wish:  I wish I was born a man so I would not have the responsibility of raising children.  I wish I was a man because men rule the world and women ask permission.  

Do I have the power to change this:  No.

What I have instead:  I am a woman.  I have a womb and I have carried children.  I have a tribe of wonderful women friends.  Men aren't so lucky.


What I wish:  I wish Ada hadn’t died.  I had beautiful baby girl who died and robbed my innocence.

Do I have the power to change this:  No.

What I have instead:  I have two wonderful children who are smart and passionate and challenging and stubborn and alive.  


What I wish:  I wish my brother was sane and did not have schizophrenia.

Do I have the power to change this:  No.

What I have instead:  A great sense of empathy for all people, including myself.  I used to be the golden girl: smart and fun.  Then tragedy after tragedy came.  I have dear and loyal friends.  Bad things happen, no matter how hard we try to be good.  A loyal and supportive spouse and friends  helped me through difficult times.


What I wish:  I wish I had a husband who put his family before his job.

Do I have the power to change this:  I do not have the power to change Jack.  I do have the power to make a decision and take control over my life, either with or without him.  I can determine what I need, tell him, and see if he is willing and capable of change.

What I have instead:  A husband who has made his job and work a priority over his family for the past few years.  I have been impacted by his workaholism, as I have single handedly taken care of the kid while he works.  I need to move forward on my own life while I am waiting for him to pull his head out of his tuckus.


* Laurie is my childhood nickname.  Jack, my parents, high school friends, and a few college friends call me Laurie.  My given name is Lauren, and I started using it in my sophomore year of college.  

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