Tuesday, I ran into my neighbor. She knew it was my birthday because of Facebook, which now makes birthdays public events. She asked how my day was. She is a big holiday and birthday person. She has wonderful parties for her kids, turning her yard into Fairy Forests, Neverland and other imaginary places.
"What did your family do for you?" she asked, waiting to hear the details.
"Jack worked."
"What did they get for you?" she asked cheerfully.
"Well..." I said. I didn't mention that my husband needs a detailed shopping list for holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. I didn't have time to shop and text him ideas this year. "I took the kids to City People's to get some things for the garden and the kids picked out some candles and stuff for me..."
"Did the kids make you cards or anything?" she said, sounding hopeful.
"Well, Jack would have to organize something like that." Itemizing my family's lack of enthusiasm made me slightly depressed.
"Oh," she said. "Did they take you out to dinner?" She was grasping for something nice my family did, and she was coming up empty.
"Uh..." I was sounding pathetic. "I went to the grocery store and bought swordfish. Jack cooked it for dinner."
In fairness, it wasn't all bad. Even though my immediate family kind of failed, others pulled through. My friend Diane and I went out to lunch Friday, my parents sent me flowers, and other friends took another friend and I out for a joint birthday lunch this week.
The morning after my conversation with my neighbor, this appeared on my porch:
She brought me flowers, a tin of tea, and croissants from Bakery Nouveau, home of the best pastries in Seattle. It was one of the very best surprises I've had in a very long time.
This reminds of another story. Years ago, I was working at a large consulting and accounting firm. While the partner I worked for was generally a nice guy, he made a huge flub. He was interviewing someone for a job and was walking this potential hire around the office. Bob caught me on the way to the printer in the copy room and said, "We are a big family here. Lauren, what did you do over your vacation?"
"I got married," I said. Bob's jaw dropped. I went in to get my work off the printer. I never saw the guy who was interviewing again.
Yet, a few days earlier, I got a package in the mail from Thailand. I was helping a partner in the firm from overseas, and she sent me a Jim Thompson silk scarf as a wedding present. I was so surprised, and grateful. It almost equaled the $100 John and I got from the family of a second grade boy I tutored at the Southeast Asian Center as the best present from our wedding. Khoa's family had moved to the U.S. from Vietnam a few years earlier. The dad worked the third-shift at a local factory and the mom was studying to be a manicurist. Their gift was extremely generous.
When I told another colleague, this story about Bob and the partner from Thailand, she smiled. "People you who are close to you may disappoint, while others will surprise you."
She was right. Thank goodness for those who come through for us when those close to us don't.
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