Freshman

Earlier this week,  I went to Curriculum Night at the Big E's high school.  Wow.  What a trip.  I've been to more than a dozen Curriculum Nights since my kids have started school, and this one was the best.  I loved it.

I don't know why I thought this evening was so much fun.  Maybe because the Big E is back in the assignment boundaries with all of the kids she went to elementary school with.  Our house was drawn into a different middle school zone, so there were only a handful of kids from the Big E's elementary in her middle school.  I knew very few parents at that school.  Here, I knew lots.  I saw parents of kids I knew from our elementary bus stop whose children are now seniors.  I felt like a freshman myself.  When I saw a good friend in "passing period," we squealed out hellos, as if we were teenage girls who were so wildly surprised to see each other at the mall.

This high school has been around for ages, and is a Seattle institution.  Collectively, her six teachers have about 180 years of experience between them.  Not kidding.  While young teachers can bring a happy, positive energy, the life experience of these teachers really came through.  They were easy and warm with parents, not nervous or eager to impress.  Jack joked:  "Does someone have to die for someone to get a job there?"  Yeah.

Maybe the parents brought a different attitude.  In high school, it is really up to the kid to decide how much effort and energy they are going to invest in their education.  With more pressure on the kids, there was less on the parents.  Instead of trying to prove their kids were worthy, they know their kids are standing on their own.  Teachers have x-ray eyes about the kids, and really didn't seem to care about the parents, but in a good way.  The Big E's Language Arts teacher spelled it out: "If your child is not doing well on the vocabulary tests, it is because they aren't studying hard enough."  Ouch.  And true.  I loved it.

While there are cumulative experiences that kids bring to high school, the ball is in the kid's court to decide where to go.  One parent asked with a little bit of resignation in her voice, "How does my child prepare a portfolio if they are interested in pursuing the arts?"  She was quick to qualify, "This is my child's decision.  I know nothing about how to do this.  Really."  She sounded kind of lost, and there was a knowing quiet laughter from the crowd.  The kids are starting to take control of the car and decide on their futures.  Our job is just to get the car out of the garage and make sure the kids know how to drive.  The kids decide where to take it.

Something about this is freeing to me as a parent, and I am surprised.  I didn't think I would be so excited to watch my daughter make her own decisions, but I am.  Perhaps I have a little bit of vicarious living here, watching her look at her future as a blank canvas on which she can draw, scribble, paint anything.