An Empty Chair, Words & Actions, Head & Heart and a Work in Progress

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Claire-Adele was at home, which was nice. There was an empty chair at the table as the Boy is in Montana for treatment for anxiety and depression. This was the first major holiday he's been gone. The Fourth of July and Labor Day were not easy, but Thanksgiving was hard. The Boy gets a pass over Christmas so I'll get to see him then for a few days.

The Boy has been making progress on his therapy. Yesterday on our phone call with him, he talked about colleges. He was reading Fiske's college guide and was looking at engineering schools in California, Montana and British Columbia. Claire-Adele pointed out that the last time she talked to him over the summer he was thinking of a gap year or community college. Now, Caltech is his dream school, as it was when he was in middle school. I think he'd probably be happier at Montana State where he could ski and mountain bike regularly. Anyway, it is a very positive development.

Lately, I've been thinking about words and actions, and the head and the heart.

One of the biggest challenges is when words and actions, and the head and the heart are not in sync. I've faced in the past year is dealing with people whose words and actions might align, but might not align with how they are really feeling. Other times, words and actions don't align. In some cases, the words and actions are not aligned. The words might match the mind, but the actions match the heart, or the actions might match the mind, but words match the heart.

In all cases, it is very confusing to be on the receiving end of this mixed up communication.

In all fairness, I am just as bad. Since the Boy left in June for therapy, I have been working on trying to figure out what I want for myself. Since I am in a little bit of a mess, I don't know what I want so my communication might be off.

Recently, I read an article on Medium, my new favorite blog anthology. Instead of putting your life on hold while you are figuring out what you want, this blog says to consider yourself a "Work in Progress."