Insomnia

I love to sleep. I am not a night owl or an early bird. I am a go-to-bed-early-and-sleep-late kind of gal. A good nights sleep is essential to my functioning. Insomnia is a disaster for me as I am super sensitive to caffeine so I can't really fake a bad night's sleep with a regular mocha. If I can have a non-decaf cup of coffee, I am bouncing off the walls with too much energy, which does not make me the best co-worker in the world.

When the Boy was at Wilderness, Hector/Yoda, the leader of Family Services, explained to us that people have been waking up in the middle of the night for thousands of years. This "sleep through the night" thing is more a result of industrialization because people had to get up in the morning to go to work. In an agricultural society, when you were tired in the middle of the day when the work was done, you'd just take a nap.

Since I am not living in the woods and I have a nine-to-five job, I need my sleep at night. I have been having insomnia on and off for the past several months, which is horrible. Instead, I am learning to embrace it, and by embracing it a bit, I am able to fall back to sleep a little bit faster. When I wake, I might lay in bed and write in my journal or read a book. I might try a few meditative exercises to clear my mind instead of dreading it or worrying about how I am going to feel the next day.

I also ask what is my night mind trying to tell me? What is it that my brain is processing that I can't access during the day? Now I am trying to listen instead of wishing it away.