Tired, Empty & Dull

I am five days out from my surgery, and I am weary.

The first day out, I was high. Everyone in my family called starting at 9:00 a.m. to see how I was doing and it was one continuous conversation. It was lovely, and I felt great, thanks to the power of love and the miracle of opioids. Love lasts but opioids are a false friend, as we all know. I was going to write a blog post "Things I Can Do While I'm High," but I thought the better of it. Nevertheless, I was surprised that I could solve the Cryptogram in the NYT.

I had the good fortune to have friends stay with me during the surgery and for the first few days of recovery. It was nice to have company and someone make me breakfast. 

Today, I am tired. My friend Ellen said it is good that I am tired--it will keep me from overdoing it. The nurse from the clinic said I should not be laying in bed all day, but I should be moving around. I guess they don't want me to get weak muscles or blood clots. Still, I am tired. A friend came over for dinner last night and she asked I was in pain. I am not in pain, or even really discomfort. Instead, I feel like I am walking around with a carton of eggs in my belly that I can't see or feel, but I know I don't want them to break.

At the same time, my belly feels empty. I don't feel the cyst blocking up my southern abdomen. My belly gurgles and sputters at me, happily re-adjusting and filling in the empty space.

And I am dull, emotionally and intellectually. I read the newspaper, but no one is going to give me a quiz on it, and if they did, I'd probably flunk. I listened to a mediation last night and the topic was fractals. I lost the thread. Oy. I am too dull to watch stream movies and shows. I am glad I am not making any big decisions or purchases in the next month. I talked to my manager yesterday, and he asked if I wanted an update on the office. I deftly avoided the topic by talking about my short-term disability program. I didn't want him to realize that my IQ and EQ have both dropped by fifty points since the surgery.

I am planning to bounce back soon, though. One of my friends said anesthesia can linger in your systems for days after major surgery. No wonder I am feeling dull and groggy. 

Nevertheless, I am glad stocked up on crafts before the surgery. I have something simple and fun to keep me busy while I am stuck inside.

More later...