Wordle and Rest

When I play Wordle, I treat it like it dictates my emotional, spiritual and intellectual state for the day. If I crush the word in two guesses, I feel like I am aligned with the gods and connected to the powers of the universe. When I guess the word in five or six tries, I feel like I am a chump, that my mental acuity isn't sharp, that I've lost the flow for the day, all from a ridiculous game on the internet. It is driving me nuts.

Why do I beat myself over a game? Why do I let it hold power and sway over me when it shouldn't?

I am also using Wordle to predict how I am recovering from my surgery, like it is tea leaves or a fortune cookie or a magic eight ball or the groundhog looking for its shadow. If I get the Wordle in three guesses or less, I am on a speedy path to recovery. If I sink it in five or six guesses, I feel like a slug and I'll never get better. If I get it in four guesses? "Try again later."

It is not as if Wordle has that kind of power over my life, but is it a barometer of my inner peace? My calmness? Clarity? When I am relaxed, I do play better, but I am still letting something external dictate how I feel about my inner peace. I mean, I have no control over the words they pick. Sometimes they sing to me, sometimes they don't. Spoiler: Today's answer was guano, like I use that word every day, although my friend said she feels batshit crazy all the time.

Last week, I was feeling really tired, both mentally and physically. I tried caffeine to perk me up. I tried walking to perk me up. I tried eating to perk me up. I tried fasting to slip into ketosis to perk me up. I tried all of my tried and true strategies to increase my energy.

Nothing worked.

I talked to a friend about this. Her advice: "Why don't you just rest? You had major surgery. You can't just fix this. Your body is telling you to rest."