I never thought I'd be the type to stand by my man when he was behaving badly or being problematic. I was more of the "I don't need this in my life" type. I was never one to suffer abuse,* disrespect, or respect. I am more of the "I don't need this in my life." My mother told me when I was a kid, "Friends don't make you miserable." The same should hold true to significant others, even more so. They should be the one caring and protecting you when the world is beating you down.
And here I am.
Well, I am not exactly standing by my man. I've already decided that the status quo from a month ago will not stand. I cannot be married to the man Jack was a month ago, a year ago, even longer ago than that, as I was neglected by him and his workaholism. My heart is saying, Give him another chance. You have deep and meaningful history. My mind is saying, Hold on a sec. This guy drained your love bank empty, and is now borrowing on your goodwill. Foreclosure on this account is a real possibility unless some tangible and meaningful changes take place.
Sometimes you have to stand for yourself before you can stand by your man.
* To be clear, Jack has not been abusive. And I have friends who have been in abusive marriages, and understand that leaving an abuser is difficult business.
This blog is about the little and big thoughts that pop into my head. I once read that when Flannery O'Connor walked into a bookstore, she would want to edit her published works with a red pen. In the digital world, we have the luxury of tweaking things up after we've hit the publish button. I can be a perfectionist/procrastinator, where waiting for the ideal means little gets done. Here I will share what is not--and likely will never be--perfect.
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