Thursday, April 14, 2016

The Psychological Bogeyman

Like me, the Boy loves movies. In the past few days, we have watched The Theory of Everything about Stephen Hawking and Whiplash, a movie about a jazz student who get abused by his teacher. Last month, we watched Pawn Sacrifice about Bobby Fischer who was flat out crazy. I ordered The Time Travelers Wife from Netflix, and the Boy joined me in watching it a few weeks ago. The man would travel in time, and get dumped in an unfamiliar spot naked. He had steal clothes, food and try to survive in an often inhospitable world. We also saw The Right Stuff based on the Tom Wolfe book about the Mercury astronauts. Next up: Birdman, the movie that won the Oscar for Best Picture in 2015.

What is up with the Boy liking these movies with psychologically tortured souls?* Stephen Hawking was plagued by a disease that left him unable to move. The Mercury pilots, while not certifiably insane, were the pioneers of the space age and were kind of crazy to volunteer to get strapped to a rocket and get flung into outer space. Bobby Fischer was a tortured genius.

The Boy is twelve going on thirteen. Could it be that instead of watching horror stories, these movies have the same effect of allowing him to manage his fears about the world? Instead of Freddy Kreuger, could it be that the Boy prefers the psychological bogeyman? Instead of watching teens being chased by a man with a chainsaw, the Boy prefers watching people struggle with their inner demons?

When I was his age, I was an Alfred Hitchcock fan. My favorite was Rear Window, which I showed the Boy. I loved mysteries and movies with problems to solve. The Boy likes the BBC's Sherlock, which is both about a crazy person (Sherlock) and mysteries to be solved.

Now, I find these psychologically themed movies a challenge to watch. I almost could not bear to watch the end of Whiplash. I had to leave the room because I could not stand to watch this young man get abused by his teacher. Why did it make me so uncomfortable but my son could stand it? Perhaps as an adult, I have seen abuse in action, and those stories rarely have a happy ending. Perhaps this is a safe distance for my son to see abuse, and then create a map in his mind of how to solve those problems in the future. Or perhaps, the Boy is like I was, finding these characters interesting, but only seeing them from a safe distance. As I've grown, I've seen crazy close up. While I don't think movies make insanity look glamorous, it is much messier when you are living with it than seeing it on a screen for a few hours. Most people plagued by insanity aren't international chess champions like Bobby Fischer.

As I've watched my mother decline with Alzheimer's, my biggest fear is losing my mind. While it completely sucks to have a bad knee, it would be far worse to have a damaged brain, whether with memory loss or forms of mental illness, like depression or schizophrenia. I know what I could do to fix a bad knee--physical therapy and surgery--but a mental or neurological disorder would be harder to fix, and far more messy. Yet, we are bodies and souls. We need a healthy body to help keep the mind in shape, and vice versa.

Perhaps I will begin to embrace my son's interest in the psychological bogeyman. Perhaps I too need to create maps of how to get out of potential messes.

* In fairness, the Boy also loves Parks and Rec and Dr. Who. He isn't only interested in movies about the inner life. He does like comedy and sci-fi.

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